


Hold One's Tongue

by myamya



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Eventual Romance, Friendship, M/M, Slow burn i guess?, also it'll have a happy ending, angsty but also fun, leo figuring out who he is, pretty wordy sorry, takumi's typical angst, these guys are silly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:35:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27873933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myamya/pseuds/myamya
Summary: The most obvious answer to Leo's predicament was to just come clean and confess his feelings for Takumi, but that would run the risk of ruining their friendship. He just couldn't see any pathway where it didn't end up awkward between them. Gods, he had no idea what to do. Why couldn't life be simple, and why did he have to be a romantically-challenged adult with an overactive fight or flight response?
Relationships: Leon | Leo/Takumi
Comments: 38
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A lot of this was inspired by Takumi's support conversations, in particular one with Xander in Warriors where Xander tells him off for working too hard. Poor guy, he just needs some love. Also it's set during Fates, hope it makes sense lol

" _Leo!"_ Elise drew out the O, holding it for so long that she had to gasp for air at the end. He laughed, causing a loud huff and pout to be sent his way. She was growing up so fast, yet she was absolutely, one-hundred-percent such a child still. "Please?"

"There is no way you are getting me to help practice your healing," He replied. "The last time I fell for that I ended up with bruises that Niles teased me about for _weeks._ "

He sounded like a bad brother but he just couldn't put himself through that again. You see, in order for one to practice their healing, they needed to have some injuries to work on. He'd been the unwilling participant last time, with Elise demanding that he practice swordfighting with Xander so he'd get hurt. It was a little insulting that she assumed he'd be the one to lose in a fight against Xander (but not untrue), but he hadn't let himself think about it too much. He hadn't been gravely injured but it had been bad enough! Xander was a master with swords, he wielded the Siegfried for the Gods sake! So yes, he definitely wasn't going to participate again.

He wasn't even sure how this conversation had come about. They'd just finished breakfast and were having a relaxing stroll back towards the study hall where Leo was going to help Elise with a particularly complicated history book (his suggestion, she'd been less thrilled). But she'd had other ideas apparently and had launched into this campaign as soon as they'd left the mess hall. She _knew_ that he had trouble saying no to her, hence why she was asking him and not Camilla.

"I can go easy on you this time. Just give you some paper cuts or something, I'm sure you have an old book or something that'll do the trick," She was certainly persistent, he'd give her that. "Look, we're even about to pass by the sparring grounds. Come on, I'll be quick."

"Not happening, missy." He shook his head while she let out a defeated sigh. It was intentional and almost worked too, until memories of Niles laughing at the black and blue marks on his knees came flooding back, making his mind up for him.

The sparring ground was busy anyway with Rinkah and Kagero doing what could only be described as some sort of awkward arm wrestle while trying to push each other around. Sumo, Rinkah had called it once, but he didn't quite understand the concept. Another figure stood by the fence, awkwardly trying to fasten some clearly too large shoulder armour on while balancing a training bow under one arm. The way his hands tensed in irritation without even seeing their face could only mean that it was —

"Takumi!" It was Elise that shouted it. Do not under _any_ circumstance think that it was Leo shouting his name so gleefully.

"Ah," He turned around quickly, armour slipping down his shoulder. The surprise at having his name screamed out clearly evident on his face. "Good morning, Princess Elise and uh..." He paused, giving the once over to Leo. "Morning, Prince Leo."

Before he could even get a _"same to you"_ or _"whatever"_ in, Elise had commandeered the conversation. "I'm trying to get my dumb brother here to help me out with some sparring practice but he's being dumb and saying no. Tell him he's being dumb."

And before he could even defend himself, Takumi was gearing up to answer. How he could get the words out with that giant smirk on his face though was beyond him. "He doesn't need me to tell him that."

Yep, there it was.

So it was no secret to anyone in the army that Leo and Takumi liked to argue with each other. Neither one of them could say for sure where or when exactly it started, but Leo certainly knew that when they met on the battlefield before they joined the cause, it was not the first time they had slung insults at each other.

Despite being allies now, Takumi's distrust of him still persisted and oftentimes they found themselves at each other's throats in the campground or throwing words that his father would have reprimanded him for across the mess hall. Leo would say that everything he said was in retaliation to the other Prince's provocation, but the reality was that he started things just as much as Takumi did.

They would find any number of things to argue about, ranging from what the other was eating for lunch all the way up to their abilities on the battlefield. A favourite of his being to compare him to Ryoma. If he was being truthful he didn't think that either was better than the other as it was impossible to compare an archer to someone who preferred swords, but it was the thing that seemed to get under Takumi's skin the most. It wasn't as if he _liked_ arguing, it generally didn't make him feel good (especially when he was being told off by Xander later on) but they just didn't seem to be able to help it.

"Are you waiting for the sparring grounds then?" She continued, oblivious to the rising animosity between the two. "Because maybe I'll stay and watch you! Archery is super cool!"

He smiled back, eyes fixed on Elise and purposefully ignoring the presence of the other Prince. The other Prince who had _finally_ found his words and quipped, "Better sort that armour situation out then. Want me to go get your big brother to help?

"I don't think you have any right to talk with your reputation, Prince Leo," He shot back, still watching Elise. "Are you sure your shirt isn't inside out today?"

If he really thought about it, he definitely had walked right into that one. Betraying himself, his eyes darted down towards his collar which of course caused a snort of laughter from Takumi. Ugh, now he had to think of something better than that or he'd had to admit that he was the loser of this round. He certainly wasn't going to do that, his Nohrian pride wouldn't let him. He had to fight.

So he went with the old faithful, "Well, I'm surprised that you're even dressing in your armour to train. I know that Prince Ryoma doesn't always. In fact, I've heard that story about him fighting off those faceless in nothing but his plainclothes."

Oh, he'd done it now. Their words quickly became louder, more vicious and he wasn't even sure what he was saying but whatever it was caused Takumi to throw his armour to the ground dramtically (which would have been comical in a different situation) and stomp off, clutching his bow so hard that it looked like it may snap. As he watched him retreat, he felt a weird sort of uneasiness starting to form in the very pit of his stomach but he pushed it away. It was always like this after a fight, nothing new.

"You shouldn't say things like that, you know," Elise mumbled as they continued towards the study hall. "It's not nice to be mean."

 _Yeah,_ he didn't say, _I know._

Leo would have liked to say that that was the end of that and everything had continued on as normal, and it had until just before dusk. He'd spent the remainder of his day sitting with a now-quiet Elise and helping her read through the complicated battle tactics in the text. It was one of his favourite pasttimes but today he wasn't enjoying himself. The vibe was off and he wasn't sure how to turn it back on. They'd relocated from the study hall to the outside area of the quarters as the sun had started to set when word started to spread that no one had seen Prince Takumi in hours.

An alarm was raised, the campground was searched and when that was unsuccessful, his siblings and retainers left to go locate him. The uneasiness returned with a vengeance and suddenly he felt quite unwell, having to excuse himself to return to inside. He attempted to continue reading but after scouring the same page three times (and still unsure as to what the page's contents were), he gave it up to watch out the window, eyes scanning the horizon for any glimpse of the Hoshidan siblings.

They did return, thankfully, but not in the smiling, laughing, forgiving way that Leo hoped for. No, they returned with an unconscious Takumi being held in his older brother's arms. Hinoka was holding a cloth tightly around his right pant leg, which from what he could see was armourless and completely soaked through with what he only assumed was blood. His torso hadn't looked much better and neither had his hair, all matted with dirt. A moment later and Leo had launched himself over to the sink, head hanging over completely undignified.

He wasn't even fully aware when Niles ran in, handed him a canteen of water and sat him down on the bed. “Are you okay?"

"I just felt unwell."

* * *

"Rise and shine!" The words were loud and the pitch in which they were said made them impossible to ignore. With a groan, Leo cracked his eyes open and was immediately met with Odin smiling at him as he yanked the curtains open. "I know you were unwell last night milord, but you have much to do today so you can't sleep in any later."

"What time is it?" He grunted, slowly propping himself up onto his elbows.

"If I had to hazard a guess, I would say around ten. There's still half an hour left for breakfast, I'd suggest you hurry down." It felt more like midday with how blinding the sun was and he silently cursed Odin for the rude awakening, even if it _was_ way past his usual time.

He hadn't slept well. The uneasiness hadn't subsided with the expulsion of the contents of his stomach and he'd tossed and turned long into the wee hours of the night. As melodramatic as it sounded, each time he shut his eyes all he could see was the expressions on the sibling's faces as they carried their brother into the infirmary. His thoughtless words had probably caused this chain of events.

Half-asleep still, he threw a random shirt on and stumbled as he tried to put both his legs into one leg of his pants. Once satisfied that he was at least decent, he ambled his way down to the mess hall and accepted with a grunt the sloppy mess of a breakfast that Rinkah served up to him. After locating his siblings, he sat himself down next to Elise and attempted a mouthful of the uh...gruel.

"You look tired," Camilla commented, smirking at his sorry state. "I can tell by the fact that your shirt is buttoned incorrectly."

"Didn't sleep well."

"I don't think anyone did," Xander replied. His gentle gaze was irritating Leo and he continued to stare down into his breakfast, fearing that his brother may see his twitching eye or that he may say something _else_ he'd regret. He felt guilty and this kindness was undeserved. "Prince Takumi's injuries really came as a surprise to everyone."

"It's a shame, he's the best archer this army has. Although I do wonder why he decided to go hunting alone and without any armour." It was Camilla's turn this time.

"Oh man!" And now Elise's. Her voice was too loud, too close and now staring down into his food was a necessity to stop the room from spinning. "Sakura was so worried yesterday! Is he going to be okay, Xander? What do you think?"

He let out a small sigh before he continued, so quiet that he doubted his sisters caught it amongst the loud chatter in the hall. But Leo did. He could hear every tiny sound in this damn room. "The healers were able to stop the bleeding but it's going to take weeks before the injuries fully heal themselves. He'll be okay but it's not the main issue," A louder sigh. "When I was speaking to Prince Ryoma, he said that he had been overworking himself to the point where he'd been forgetting to properly eat and rest. The exhaustion and malnutrition are the things that are going to keep him out of commission for longer."

A soft _ah_ escaped Camilla's lips and she watched their older brother who's face now appeared quite melancholy, but didn't say anything more. There was an understanding there that wasn't familiar to Leo or Elise and he wondered if they knew more than they were letting on. They ate in silence after that, the bleak atmosphere matching up with exactly how Leo was feeling on the inside.

* * *

Leo stood in the infirmary doorway, shifting awkwardly from one foot to the other and trying to get the book he was holding to not slip out his hands. There were a million other places he would have preferred to be right now but the weird sense of guilt and duty he'd been feeling for the past few days had become too much and driven him here right in the middle of reading. He wasn't sure if Takumi even blamed him but he had to make it up to him somehow.

So here he was, being watched with confusion and just wanting to use a transportation tome all the way to the other side of the campground.

“Prince Leo.”

“Prince Takumi.”

“Why are you here?”

 _Good question_. “Um, I thought you might need some company. I know that you’re stuck in here by yourself a lot.” Takumi just frowned and continued to stare, making Leo feel that much more uncomfortable. He had always had to push himself in social situations, they were something didn’t come naturally to him and right now he was _really_ pushing himself. “What?”

Takumi just shook his head and sat back onto the propped up pillows. “From what I know of you, this is out of character.”

Hey, that was a bit rude. Was he implying that he wasn’t a nice person? He knew he could come off as cold shouldered and he was working on that, but he never usually had ill-intent (although he wouldn't blame Takumi for thinking that with the frequency of their arguments). Even right now, as he fought the urge to snap something back with a scowl, it was just reactionary. Because what a surprise, Takumi getting under his skin again.

But no, that wasn't the reason he was here.

“Excuse you, I’m a very caring person.” He quipped back and Takumi just laughed. This somehow quelled Leo's nerves slightly and he took that momentary lapse in anxiety to properly enter the room and head for the chair next to the bed. Throughout their conversation (if one could call it that) though, he had forgotten to readjust his grip on the book and when he stepped it slipped out of his hands, dropping onto the floor and spilling out _every single one_ the notes he had stuck inside.

In an instant he was on the floor, head down to cover his tomato-coloured cheeks and pick up his scrawlings. Takumi meanwhile was chuckling at his plight which turned into a cough and he too had to take a minute to try and compose himself. Finally, having shoved all the notes back into random places, Leo stood back up and took the seat, embarrassed and mad at himself.

“You’re such a nerd, there has to be a hundred notes that just fell out.”

“Don't start,” He tried to frown, but couldn’t stop his mouth from twitching upwards. “…but you should see my other books.” Once settled, he opened up the pages and let out a sigh once he saw the damage. He had them all meticulously organised before but in his haste to pick them up they were all in the wrong spots. He wanted to spend the afternoon actually reading, but now he’d have to fix up this mess. He glanced around for a surface to drag over and get to work but saw nothing, they only option was the end of Takumi’s bed. It would have to do. “May I?”

“Go ahead, but if I stretch out my legs and accidentally kick off the pages don’t get mad.” Look it was probably a joke, but he wouldn't put it past him.

So Leo just shook his head, giving him a look. “Please, you’re not tall enough for your legs to reach the end of the bed anyway.”

“Ha! Pretty sure I’m taller than you, Prince Leo.”

He hopped up off the chair and stood next to the bed, enjoying the brief moment of towering over his self-appointed rival. “Prove it then, _second_ Prince of Hoshido.”

But a brief moment was all it was and Leo realised almost immediately that he'd made a mistake. Staring directly down at Takumi like this, he finally saw what Xander had been talking about and wondered how he hadn't noticed it earlier. Even if he hadn't had the gauze wrapped around his torso (which he also just realised was bare and _very_ red), he was finding it hard to reconcile this pallid figure with the archer who had been fighting alongside him until just recently.

 _Fool,_ he cursed himself, hoping that Takumi wouldn't sense his internal panic. _He's got severe injuries, of course he's not going to be able to stand up to compare heights with you._

But that didn't mean he wasn't going to try. An attempt to push himself up but the movement was met with a soft gasp and he didn't try again. "Well I'll uh, get the nurse to check my height next time we have a physical."

It was a shock for Leo to see such an exhausted looking face, if he was being completely honest. He'd read a lot of books throughout his years, ranging from military history to medical but they always focused on physical ailments. He could tell you exactly what to do if you were impaled by a lance or hit by any number of tomes, but when it came to the mental side of things he was stumped. He just didn’t understand it. He didn’t understand how someone could ignore the normal instinct of hunger or the aching from the over-exertion of muscles and not think _‘hey, maybe I need to take a break’_. And so for what was probably the first time ever in his life, he didn't know what to say.

“I’m…” He started to talk but the next word dried up on his tongue before he could get it out. Takumi looked up at him, his eyes cutting through Leo and leaving him with that guilt again. “Sorry.”

“What for? Trying to compare heights? I knew I couldn’t trust you, Nohrian scum.” It was said more in jest than anything else, but it just made Leo feel worse.

‘No…you know, all this.”

“Oh, right,” His tone was surprisingly positive. “Don’t apologise, I should be thanking you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“If you hadn’t kept calling me out I would never have realised I’d been slacking. So it’s really a good thing.”

What? Was he serious? “Are you for real?” Takumi nodded in response and Leo just stared back, not sure what to even say. Finally, he came out with “What on earth made you think you needed to train more? You're at the sparring grounds more than any one else in the army combined."

A shrug. "Well, you did for one thing. Always bringing up Ryoma made me realise how far I still have to go."

Oh Gods, he knew it. "Takumi, you've ended up bedridden as a result of your over-exertion. Did you not at any point stop and think that you were taking things too far?" It came out way more accusatory than intended and he cursed himself _again_ for being so thoughtless with his words. But he just didn't get it!

He narrowed his eyes. "You said you came here to keep me company but now you're giving me the third degree. I get enough of this from Ryoma, I _don't_ want it from you. It's none of your business anyway."

 _Bite your tongue, bite your tongue._ "I apologise, I'll drop it."

The resulting silence suddenly made Leo hyper-aware that he was still standing and he dropped back into his seat. Figuring that the end of the bed was still fair game despite everything, he spread out his, making piles in an attempt to organise them. It was difficult work, there were just so many and he cursed the gods for his thoroughness in both note taking and organising.

Eventually he managed to sort out the piles, now it was just a matter of finding the correct pages for each one. He made a mental note to number each scrap of paper next time so if this ever happened again it wouldn’t be as confusing or frustrating. As he started flipping through the pages though, he felt a looming presence and looked up to find Takumi had scooched over towards him and was reading through some of the notes.

“Did you seriously write these?” He asked upon noticing Leo had realised he was there. “Because your handwriting is _terrible._ ”

“Do you have to criticise me in everything that I do?” He had turned his attention back towards the book and made a point not to look back up. “And I doubt yours is any better.”

“It is actually,” He mused. “But that’s because I have a steady hand from archery. Your hands are probably jittery from all the movements you have to do with your spells.”

“If I’m allowed to use that as an excuse, then sure, that’s why.” He continued to flip through the pages, reading his notes back. His handwriting wasn’t that bad, perfectly legible for him.

He worked in a steady silence for the next ten minutes, placing notes in pages in a focused rhythm. Eventually, he got them all done and closed the book with a satisfied thud, that hadn’t taken nearly as long as he had thought and he scolded himself mentally for being dramatic. Xander and Camilla had always teased him about that - thinking situations were the end of the world when they were only minor inconveniences.

He placed the book away from potential dangerous note-wrecking situations and directed his gaze up to his current companion. Takumi seemed to have lost interest in teasing him for now and had instead decided staring out the window was more exciting. Faint cries of _hi-yah_ and _hnnng_ that sounded suspiciously Hoshidan could be heard and if he had to guess, he'd say he was watching his retainers spar.

Leo had seen them tussle before all this, practicing with weapons they didn't usually use or challenging each other to fight using their non-dominant hand. Admittedly he'd been a little envious, it must be nice to have retainers around one's own age. Niles and Odin were great, don't get him wrong, but they very much had a working relationship rather than a friendship.

Takumi must have sensed a pair of eyes on him because he shifted back around. Leo tried to look away, but unfortunately didn’t move quickly enough and was caught out.

“Why were you looking at me?” He snapped.

“I wasn’t.” He bit back, suddenly feeling that irritation that usually came with interaction with the Hoshidan royal family - especially this particular member.

“Yes you were, I just saw you,” His voice was angry but his face was worried. “I should have known you were here to make fun of me, it’s what I expect of you, Prince Leo. Come to laugh at the second Prince of Hoshido, so feeble that he’s an hinderance to the cause. Go on, go gossip to the rest of the army, I know you’re all thinking it.”

Leo didn’t know what to say. Takumi didn’t seriously believe any of that, did he? Everyone he’d spoken to was so worried about him! Even himself, while they weren’t friendly by any means, he certainly didn’t wish any harm onto him.

“No one is thinking that,” He answered, voice low as he feared he might lose it if he raised it even slightly. “You should see how worried Corrin and Sakura have been, they're beside themselves."

“What other reason could you be here for then? We’re not friends.”

He let out a huff, he was many things but unfortunately patient was not one of them. “I told you earlier, I came here to keep you company.”

“Well, whatever,” During his little outburst, he'd yanked his hair out of it's tie and was frantically running his fingers through the ends. Someone had helped him wash it, Leo noticed, as the dirt and knots were all gone. It was so long, longer than most of the women he knew and he briefly wondered how his neck supported so much weight without constantly drooping forward. “Please don’t gossip to the rest of the army though.”

“I don’t know where you got the idea that that’s why I came here, but I won’t. Loose lips sink ships…or armies in this case.” That was a saying he’d been living off a lot the past few days. After causing this issue sitting in the bed in front of him, he’d made a pact to himself to think before he spoke, or at least make sure his mind and mouth were running at the same speed. It was proving easier said than done though.

“Yeah, thanks.”

He glanced over at the clock next to the bed, it had already been over an hour. He’d completely lost track of the time and he had matters to attend to. “I uh…have to go, I said that I would help out with the cooking tonight. Do you want me to bring you anything to eat?”

“No, I’m okay, but do you…” Hesitation.

“What?”

“Do you think you could leave the book here? I have nothing to do so I need some way to pass the time. I won’t mess up your notes, I promise.” He grinned at the last part and Leo rolled his eyes.

“Sure, but I’ll be back in a few days to take it back so you better have finished it.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the love on the last chapter!! It was nice to read the comments :)
> 
> Also this was the support conversation I mentioned in the notes last time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuhi8V54w7E

With an exhausted groan, Leo lowered himself into a seat in the now-empty mess hall. After a long and arduous cooking process, he was finally getting a chance to eat the food himself although by this point the soup had gone quite cold. He had a mouthful, made a face and then forced down another one before giving up for now. Hot soup was fine, cold soup was gross and he couldn't muster the energy to heat it up again. He'd go raid the pantry for some bread or something later if he got _really_ hungry.

He'd been on cooking duty with his retainers this evening. Cooking for a giant army was tiring enough in itself, but cooking with _Odin_ was something else. He enjoyed his company, he really did, but being in such a confined space with him could get draining very quickly. Not to mention he'd already expended what little energy he did have talking with Takumi this afternoon. That combined with the lack of sleep he'd had last night meant that he was one tired boy. One tired boy who didn't feel up to much more than staring at the wall.

“Leo,” A voice floated in from behind and if he'd had the energy, he would have acknowledged it. Didn't matter though, it was only Xander and a few seconds later he came into view, taking a seat opposite him at the table. “The food was nice, thank you for cooking for us tonight.”

“I had no choice, did I? My name was on the roster.” He replied, stirring the spoon with his index finger.

“Well, thank you regardless. I know everyone appreciates your hard work.”

Leo gave him a nod and went back to staring aimlessly at the wall. He hoped Xander didn’t think him rude, but engaging conversation seemed to be too much for his mental _and_ physical capacity right now. A good minute passed before he lifted up a spoonful again and choked down a mouthful. There was no way he was going to finish this tonight, was there? Xander, who had been watching this debacle, raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t like cold soup.” He frowned.

“You always were funny about temperatures,” He laughed. “Good to see things haven’t changed despite being a grown adult.”

A shrug. “The tongue wants what the tongue wants.”

They continued to sit in silence, Leo staring down at his food and occasionally taking a mouthful and Xander just eyeing him. He looked like he wanted to say something, but kept chickening out. Eventually, he leant forward and Leo felt like he was about to be told off just like when he was a child. His face was stern and had clasped his hands together, just in front of his dinner bowl. Oh Gods what had he done?

But instead of being told off, Xander came out with “You look dead on your feet, brother. Are you okay?”

“I’m just tired from cooking I think,” He sat back in his chair, giving up on the soup for tonight. He appreciated the attempt at conversation but Xander clearly wasn't reading the situation. The situation being that he just wanted to sit silently alone. “Also I trained this morning and um, I went to see Takumi too.”

“Oh Leo,” His face broke into a gentle smile. The smile that everyone loved, the smile that made everyone feel warm and at home, like they were the most important person in the world at that very moment. How Leo hated that smile because it always got him talking regardless of how much he didn't want to. Like right now, for instance. “How did that go? I wasn't aware that you were friends.”

“We aren't and it went okay, but he thinks everyone—“ He stopped himself short, he’d promised that he wouldn’t tell anyone that. “…he’s very stubborn.”

His smile turned into a chuckle. “I’m aware of that, I’ve always thought you two were quite similar in that way actually.”

“I’m nothing like him, he’s so frustrating.”

“Right, right,” He steered the conversation away from that before Leo could get too annoyed and asked, “What did you talk about?”

"Oh, um nothing particularly interesting. I think we debated about who was taller — me — and then maybe about books or something, I don't really remember," He left out the parts about almost making him stand up and the arguing, though Xander probably could have guessed that part himself. "Hey, I forgot to ask but what actually happened to him? I know you said he'd been training too hard but that doesn't explain those injuries."

He paused for a moment, as if deciding whether or not to tell Leo about it. A deep breath and Leo knew that he'd made up his mind. It was a habit Xander had when he was about to say something unpleasant, something Leo had been hearing all the more often over the past few years. It made him a sad honestly and he hoped that after this war was over Xander could go back to smiling a little more frequently. It wasn't fair for one person to have to bear the brunt of so many difficult situations.

"What I heard from Prince Ryoma was that he left the campground without any sort of armour and was attacked by a large number of faceless. My guess is that when he was knocked unconscious they assumed him dead and left him alone."

Leo's mouth formed a small _'O'_ at the explanation, unable to talk thanks to a fresh wave of guilt fully dumping him and spitting him out. There was absolutely no doubt now that his taunt about Ryoma fighting without armour had played a part in Takumi's decision that day. He sent a quick prayer up to the gods that Xander didn't catch on to this, he would be so embarrassed. And how would anyone ever forgive him? He certainly couldn't forgive himself, even if it _was_ Takumi.

"But like I said, his injuries will heal relatively fast. It's his exhaustion that will keep him in the infirmary for longer. There's no end date for his discharge right now, Ryoma said it would be played by ear."

"I didn't know how to talk to him about that. I didn't know how to talk to him at all, really."

"Speaking frankly, I was surprised to hear that you went to visit when you seem to do nothing but argue," His eyes were wary and Leo felt his cheeks redden. "But I am proud of you for it, I know socialisation isn't your favourite thing.”

He wasn’t wrong, but he hated hearing it said out loud like that. Being social was something that had never been Leo's forte, much preferring the company of books. He didn't mind when he knew the people he was spending time with, but any other situation made him uncomfortable and wishing he was anywhere else but there. It was why he'd had such an internal conflict trying to convince himself to go to the infirmary, his heart told him _go_ but every other part of his body told him to get as far away from there as possible.

He hated himself for it sometimes. Oh how he wished he could entertain crowds of people with ease like Camilla or instantly befriend anyone like Elise, but no, he was stuck as this anxious young man who had no idea what to do to in any sort of situation involving other people.

"I'm not sure if this will help you at all, but pretend you're talking to me," The confusion at this vague statement must have been clearly evident on Leo's face because Xander quickly continued with, "What I mean is, remember when you were ten and I was bedridden for extended periods of time?" A nod. "This is difficult for me to admit, but I ended up that way due to over training myself just like Takumi."

He remembered that. It happened three times over the course of a year, Xander so unwell that he was stuck in his quarters for weeks at a time. Camilla had told him he'd just come down with a fever and his ten year old mind hadn't thought to question why it had happened three times in a row. If he thought about it now, Xander _was_ always training long after the rest of them had gone to bed but he'd always just thought he was being the strong big brother. It made sense though, no one could work that much without their health declining.

He would go up at visit him constantly, crashing his room for hours at a time and reading. He'd ask Xander how to pronounce certain words if he couldn't work them out and when he got bored of that, he'd tell long winded stories with details he _definitely_ didn't exaggerate that made Xander laugh. Despite his brother being unwell, those had been some of the funnest times in his childhood and he did look back on them fondly. It had given him a purpose and making his brother grin in bleak circumstances had in turn, made him grin too.

"I didn't know."

"No, I asked Camilla not to tell you," His smile was accompanied by a slight blush this time. "Your company was one of the things that kept me going, it's easy for one to slip into dark thoughts when they're stuck in a situation like that."

He didn't say it, but his brother was silently asking him to do the same for Takumi.

"He's so exhausted, Xander, and he doesn't even realise it."

He nodded his head, frowning. “I know, all that I ask of you is to be kind and patient and let him know the army is worried about him. It’s not going to kill you, Leo. And I uh…”

“Yeah?”

“I’m so glad that you’re here, happy and healthy.”

* * *

Leo peeked through the crack in the infirmary door, checking to see if Takumi was in there. He was, sitting with his legs stretched out on the bed, hands clasped around a glass of water. Last time he'd been underneath the covers and Leo had only seen the gauze around his torso, but this time he had full view of his leg injury. His pants leg had been awkwardly rolled up to the top of his thigh, revealing the large bandage which he occasionally yanked back into place. Despite the circumstances, his expression seemed rather peaceful.

He noted Kaze sitting in a bed across the room too, his knee was wrapped in gauze and he was sitting quietly, meditating. Probably not the liveliest of roommates for the other prince but definitely better than Saizo. Quickly (for fear of being caught spying), he knocked on the doorframe to announce his arrival.

“Who’s there?” Takumi looked up but Kaze didn’t even flinch.

“Leo.” He replied, grip tightening on the book he was carrying involuntarily. There was that familiar fluttery feeling in his chest again too. That damn anxiousness that he'd lamented earlier, oh how it plagued him.

“Right,” Replied his voice. “Come in if you want to.”

He pushed the door open fully and strode over as confidently as possible, knowing full well he wasn’t fooling anyone. He thanked the gods that Kaze was too deep in meditation to witness the awkwardness. Takumi was smirking though, taking great enjoyment in the sight of the Prince of Nohr way out of his depth. He hovered for a second before pulling the chair over and taking a seat.

“Did you finish my book?”

“Actually yeah, I did,” He answered. He reached over to the bedside table, exchanging the water for the book and handing it back. “It was interesting, I read your notes too. What I could make of them, at least.”

Leo rolled his eyes at that last jab, but ignored it. “You didn’t mess the order up, did you?”

“After your freak out last time? I would _not_ make that mistake again,” He laughed. “You made some good points about the Hero King though, a lot of them were different to what I thought.”

“Well, now that you’ve finished it, _I_ can,” He tucked the book away under the chair. “I’m surprised you finished the book though, Prince Takumi. I never really pictured you as someone who enjoyed reading.” Ha, now he was able to get _his_ jab in (anxiety suddenly forgotten).

But Leo would regret it because his tone suddenly switched to defensive. _Why was he always like this?_ “And why’s that? Don’t I look very smart to you, oh wise Prince Leo of the Kingdom of Bore.”

“I don’t know!” He groaned. “I’d just never really thought about it. But it doesn’t matter, I brought you another one to read,” He tossed the second book he’d been holding the whole time onto the end of the bed and made a point to look away, staring out the open doorway. “Whatever, enjoy.”

Takumi didn’t say anything and looked the opposite direction. The tension was so thick and he silently begged for Kaze to awaken and break the silence. But he didn’t, he was still sitting there, oblivious to the two warring princes. Eventually though, Takumi did turn back and out his periphery he noticed him pick up the book and flip through the pages. Leo relaxed slightly at this and turned back around too, but kept his grumpy expression. He wanted him to know that he wasn’t happy.

“I do enjoy reading and it’s good to have something to do. Ryoma makes me stay and rest in here most of the time and it’s boring.” His tone was different again, quiet, almost embarrassed.

“Yeah,” His own was short, sharp. “That’s why I brought it.”

“…thanks.”

“It’s okay,” Xander’s words echoed around his mind, _be kind and patient._ So he took a deep breath and pushed the frustration away for now. “I’ll bring another one later if you’d like.”

“Sure, thank you.” The sudden switch in tone made him briefly wondered if Ryoma had told his brother the same thing.

It was silent and uncomfortable again now and Leo wished that he wasn’t here. He sunk down into his chair, having a physical reaction to the mood of the room and crossed his arms. As he did this, he wracked his brain for something to talk about to _at least_ break the silence but wasn't coming up with much. Besides books, he had no idea what interests Takumi had. There was always archery, but he didn’t know much about that himself and didn’t want to risk starting up that conversation and looking like a fool.

He thought back to banquets and parties past, trying to remember what Camilla would do when she had to talk to other nobles and people of importance. She always seemed to get them talking, but how? Maybe if he asked a question? Then the ball would be in Takumi's court.

“How are you feeling today?” His voice was loud, bouncing off the walls as the only sound in the room and it made him cringe.

“I’m fine,” He shrugged and Leo silently exhaled. _See? It wasn’t that bad._ “I tried to sneak out earlier to practice with my bow, but Ryoma caught me and gave me a lecture. Don’t know what the harm was, I just want to get out for a bit. I’ll go stir crazy otherwise.”

“I think he probably made you come back for a good reason.”

Takumi shook his head and in doing so, his hair which had been lazily tied back off his face came undone and fell everywhere. This was the second time that he’d seen this happen and he tried to work out how he kept it fastened when they were fighting if he couldn’t even keep it tied up now. It seemed impractical and vain.

He attempted to tie it up again, this time in a knot on the top of his head. But the sheer amount of hair just meant that it flopped back down to the base of his neck. “I swear to the Gods, I’m just going to hack all this off soon.”

Leo snorted with laughter but caught himself before he could make even more of an dork out of himself. “Is that what happened to the short bits up the top?” He pointed to the spiky bits that when down, looked like an unintentional mullet. Business in the front, party in the back as Niles would say.

Takumi sighed and nodded, but he didn’t seem to take it the wrong way this time. Thank the gods. “It kept falling into my eyes when I was trying to train, so I had at it with a dagger that was on the ground. Unfortunately it was blunt and the result is what you see in front of you today.”

“Desperate times call for desperate measures, I suppose,” He chuckled and elicited a smile from the other prince. Taking note of that response, he figured now was the perfect time to ask something that had been burning him up for years. He’d wanted to ask it ever since he’d first met the Hoshidan royalty but had never had the opportunity (or the guts). “Why do you all wear your hair so long?”

He’d finally managed to secure it up off his face and shook his head from side to side to make sure it wasn’t going to come out again. “It’s a tradition thing, the men are supposed to grow their hair long. Though I don’t think it matters too much for me since I’m not going to be king, so I could probably cut it off. I’d need a good excuse though because Ryoma would have a fit.”

“Just say you were being pursued and your hair got caught so you had to chop it or risk being caught.”

“That would have been perfect a few months ago, he wouldn’t buy it now though because he knows I’m spending all my time in here.”

He wanted to tell him that it was reason to get better (even if it was a stupid one), but he kept his mouth shut. Takumi wouldn’t listen to him if he said that, he would think he was giving him a lecture again and then say there was nothing wrong with him. Maybe he would try next time, he could even ask his siblings the best way to bring it up gently.

“But since we’re talking about hair," His tone was accusatory and Leo audibly gulped. He'd double, no, triple checked his clothing this morning and it had all been as it should. Don't tell him something was wrong with his hair this time! "What’s with that headband you always have on?”

Oh. Well, that wasn't so bad. “Keeps the hair out of my eyes.”

“Well yeah but don’t women normally wear headbands?”

“I think that is an outdated viewpoint and besides, it’s practical.” He adjusted the current topic of conversation further back on his head, it had slipped forward sometime throughout the morning.

Funny story actually, within their first few months of meeting, Odin had asked if Leo could even take the headband off or if he'd been cursed by some vengeful god and was doomed to live the rest of his life with the small metal bound to his head. He'd demonstrated that he indeed could, feeling a great release of pressure from behind his ears as he did so. Now that he thought about it, that could have been the reason he sometimes got headaches. That and the _"my tome hand trembles"_ that could be heard from wherever he was in the castle.

Now that that topic on conversation was done and both their questions had been answered, they lapsed into silence again. Takumi reached for the book that was still sitting on the end of his bed, but the bending over and reaching was too much of a strain on his injured torso and he groaned, teeth grit together. Sensing impending doom, Leo grabbed it for him and Takumi took it gratefully with an actual earnest smile this time.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine," He muttered and then, while refusing to meet Leo's gaze, "Do you think you could uh...grab the heating pack from the shelf by the door? A healer told me to use it if it got too painful. You know, sore muscles and all that. " How this guy had managed to sneak out earlier when he couldn't even reach forward was beyond him. Or maybe that was _why_ he couldn't do anything now.

He jumped up from his seat, searching through every item on the shelf to try and find the heating pack (it was right in front of him, he just didn't know what it looked like). He held up each object with an _"is this it?"_ only to receive an eye-roll and a _"Leo, that's roll of gauze/rations/pot plant"_ in response. After the third one, it became a joke which eventually ended with Takumi giving up and pointing to the accursed object with a laugh.

"I can't imagine what it was like growing up with you." He teased as Leo returned to his spot by the bed.

"Joyful, I imagine," He deadpanned. "Hey, this thing isn't warm, do you need me to heat it up?"

His face fell. "Oh great, I thought it would be from when I used it earlier. Don't worry about it then, I'll be alright."

"No it's okay, I can use fire magic," It was said flippantly, but Takumi's face was all confusion for some odd reason. Oh, it was probably because -- "Yes, yes I know that you're thinking _'but Leo, there are no tomes around!'_ but you see, not all incantations need one."

He began chanting the beginnings of a mild fire spell that he'd memorised back when he was a child and learning about magic for the first time. Well, he'd _had_ it memorised back then but it had been quite a while since he'd had to use it. And when he said _had to use it,_ what he really meant was that it had been quite a while since he'd used it to play pranks on Xander while Elise egged him on in the background.

As soon as the third word was out, he _knew_ he'd gotten it wrong and immediately the corner of the heat pack erupted into a small flame. The wheat inside of it was clearly flammable and if he didn't put it out right now, the whole thing would light up. He started blowing on the fire in an attempt to put it out and was mildly successful. Look, it wasn't getting bigger but it wasn't completely extinguished.

There was a splash of water against his face and the heat was gone. Now unobscured by fire, he could see Takumi grinning and holding the now empty glass of water. "I thought you said you could use fire magic."

"I can and did, but I did not say I'm a master at it," He replied with a laugh. He handed the slightly-singed heat pack over to Takumi, angling the wet side away from him. "Uh, half of it is warm? I can go heat it up properly if you like though, I'll even use normal means." Takumi shook his head, cradling the thing against his torso, just below the bandages. Must have been the source of the pain, Leo noted worriedly.

"What is going on?" The third voice startled them and they both turned around slowly, as if it was one of their big brothers. It wasn't, it was just Kaze but he was watching them with a mixture of both confusion and concern. "Your ruckus was so loud that it broke my concentration."

He'd completely forgotten that Kaze was even in the room, speaking earnestly. While he did feel a little bad that he'd interrupted his meditation or whatever other ninja thing he'd been up to, he couldn't control it when his mouth started to twitch upwards. A glance over to Takumi told him that he was feeling the same way. The slight smiles soon turned into what Niles would also call shit-eating grins, which _then_ evolved (or more accurately put, devolved) into loud cackling.

When he thought about it later than evening, he realised that neither of them actually bothered to explain the fiasco to Kaze. It was probably better that way, the less people who knew that he'd almost burnt down the infirmary, the better.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for those who have left kudos and reviews, it's really appreciated! I'm having fun writing this :) And I'm super excited for chapter 4 and beyond, things are gonna move a bit faster then I think :)

The bright sunlight peeked through the window of his quarters, shining directly into his face and stirring him from his sleep. He brought his arm up to cover his eyes but pain that he had forgotten was there flared up from the movement and suddenly he was wide awake. You see, while training yesterday afternoon Leo had fallen off his horse and had pulled a muscle _and_ gained a very nasty bruise on his shoulder. You would have thought that due to the whole Takumi situation he would have been more careful and you know, _worn his armour_ but no. Look, he was book smart but not always smart in the practical sense.

He cursed under his breath and sat up, resigning himself to the fact that he was awake for the day now. There was no way he was going to get back to sleep with that sun shining through and if he tried it would just be a waste of hours. The clock across from his bed was screaming at him that it was about to hit six and he sighed, two full hours before he usually liked to wake. Though he might have the mess hall to himself if he got up now.

Hopping out of bed, he quickly changed his smallclothes and pyjamas into something more befitting to be seen in and sneakily made his way out of his quarters. He crept silently out the room, careful not to wake Odin and Niles who were snoozing in the next room over. The door creaked as he pushed it open and he saw Odin’s arm move. At the same time his heart leapt to his throat and all fantasies of getting some alone time disappeared. A moment later and with no further movement, Leo figured he was clear and sprinted out of there.

It was the quietest he'd ever seen the campground, there was not a single person up other than those that were on night watch duty. It gave him a sense of calm (something hard to come by at the moment), as if he was the only person in the world right now and he very briefly considered doing this every morning. That thought was quickly banished though when memories of his siblings teasing him for his grumpiness came flooding back. Hey, it wasn't his fault that he needed a full eight hours to properly function.

He'd largely grown out of the grumpiness now -- thankfully, considering he was an adult -- but he still wasn't the sort of person who could just jump out of bed and be raring to go. This was clearly demonstrated by his entrance into the mess hall which was hindered by the classic pulling the door when it was clearly a push one. Not only that, but he spilt half the kettle of water as he tried to pour it into a mug for his tea. Thank the Gods above that no one was around to see him in such a state. What would they think of Nohr?

Finally with the mug of tea in hand, Leo headed back out the kitchen and took a seat on the balcony just outside. The sun was still rising but it was already starting to warm up. He sighed, the heat wasn't something he was too fond on. It made him sticky and moody and his skin was so pale that any more than five minutes spent outside and he'd start to burn. While he liked _eating_ tomatoes, he didn’t enjoy looking like one.

As he was sitting there, his thoughts immediately turned to Takumi (they'd been doing that a lot the past few days). He couldn’t lie, he _was_ worried about him. Yesterday he'd read up on the effects of over-exerting one's self and what could happen if you didn't have the correct nutrition, and if he was completely honest, what he'd read had frightened him. It was fortunate his siblings had caught him before things got dire and their hastiness in putting him in the infirmary made him wonder if they'd seen this happen before.

While the book had definitely helped him understand the physical symptoms, he still didn’t understand what had caused the issue in the first place. He knew and had reluctantly accepted that he was responsible for the current state of affairs, but he didn’t know why it had started to begin with. Why did their arguments get under his skin so much when Leo was able to brush them off easily? Did he hate it when other people said things too, or just Leo? There seemed to be no reason for it at all.

But to Takumi, he supposed, there was.

There was a stepping sound, like footsteps on twigs and Leo switched his mind back to the present. He could see Ryoma in the distance slowly making his way towards the kitchen. Seeeds like his alone time was over, it had been nice while it lasted. He watched the tall figure approach and when he was reasonable distance away, lifted his hand in a half wave.

“Good morning, Leo,” He greeted with a nod. “You’re up early, I’m usually the first one here every morning.”

“Yes, the sun through my windows woke me up.”

“It’s very bright at this time of the year,” He smiled, stepping up onto the balcony.

He’d never had a lot of contact with the eldest prince of Hoshido and most conversations with him recently had been with his other siblings around, it had never been one on one. Him being in such close proximity now though made Leo realise just how much he was reminded of Xander. He had that same smile that made Leo feel warm and important and he wondered how he could have ever called this man an enemy when he seemed so gentle.

“I’m going to go inside and make some tea, then may I join you?”

“Sure, if that’s what you’d like.” He settled back down and tried to enjoy the last few minutes of silence that he was going to get but he found he couldn’t relax anymore. He could feel the panic starting to rise and he gulped down his tea. There was no reason for this, Ryoma was a good person.

_Just chill out, he won’t expect much from you._

_…but what if he’s mad at you?_

Five or so minutes passed — although it felt like many, _many_ more — before Ryoma came back out. He took the seat next to Leo, his battle worn hands holding onto a mug. There was a myriad of small scars, both new and old criss-crossing across his skin, their redness exacerbated by how hard he was gripping the mug. Not wearing armour was evidently something that ran in the family.

"I like to start my day this way, it’s a good way to clear your head and get ready for everything." Ryoma didn't _seem_ mad.

“Yes,” He answered, squashing down the stress and focusing on getting his words out coherently. “I wish I had the motivation to wake up earlier, it’s been enjoyable to have the campground to myself.”

Ryoma chuckled causing Leo's eyes to widen. He hadn't been meaning to make a joke! “I’m sorry for ruining your tranquility.”

Oh. Oh Gods he hoped he hadn’t offended him, he didn’t mean it that way. _Foot in mouth, Leo, foot in mouth._ “No, no, it’s okay. That’s not what I meant.”

“I know, I’m just teasing you,” He laughed again and Leo exhaled internally in relief. Crisis averted. There was some movement in camp now, tent doors opening and some sparring cries from across the way. A moment passed and then Ryoma turned to look at Leo, staring down at him in a way only a big brother could. He felt small, wanting to shrink up to avoid the gaze. “I heard from Xander that you’ve been visiting my brother.”

“Yeah, I’ve gone in a few times and I was going to go again today. I feel like I owe it to him,” He replied, looking down into his empty teacup awkwardly. “And I uh…I’m sorry for everything. I didn’t know or intend for this to happen.”

There was that smile again. “It’s okay, I know you didn’t. Though I hope this has taught the both of you a lesson about the impact of your words,” Leo felt his chest give and if he'd been alone, he probably would have yelled into his pillow. Gods, that forgiveness from Ryoma had lifted off a much heavier weight than he'd realised. It didn’t ease his guilt, but it certainly made him feel a little better. “Thank you for apologising though, you’re much more mature than I was led to believe.”

_Hey._

“And thank you for visiting him, I know he gets bored. Also I do believe that you two will get along if you really try, I’ve always thought you were similar.”

Why did everyone keep saying that? “He’s very stubborn,” A raised eyebrow. “But he’s not a bad person. I’ve been lending him books because he said he needs something to do.”

“He mentioned that to me,” Was his reply. “Military history books, right? He’s interested in that, I keep encouraging him to study government after the war,” His voice cracked ever so slightly on war. It must have been the foundation of his entire visage because it caused his whole expression to fall. He must have felt terrible, Leo had been so wrapped up in his own anxieties that he hadn’t thought about how Ryoma was dealing with this - both a war and a sick brother. “I’m so worried about him, Leo, I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to him.”

 _Keep calm, Leo. Now is not the time to panic._ “I want to help more, that’s why I’m visiting him. I just don’t know what to do.”

This seemed to be what Ryoma needed to hear and he perked up slightly, easing Leo’s worry. “It’s very difficult, I know. The best you can do is continue to visit him and listen if he wants to talk to you, though that would be a miracle if he did. Don’t make him feel guilty either, he feels bad enough about himself for some reason and we need to stop that.”

“Okay, I can try that.”

“Thank you, Leo," His face was back to normal, betraying no fact that he'd just let his guard down. So much so that Leo would wonder later on if he'd imagined the interaction. "I never though you’d be someone I’d be relying on for help, but I’m glad that I can.”

* * *

The apprehension that he'd felt the first two times going to the infirmary had lessened slightly this third time and he chalked it up to two things. The first thing was that his conversation with Ryoma had eased his worries, it felt nice to be thought of as helpful even though he really wasn't doing much. The second was that there could be nothing worse than almost burning down the infirmary. Whatever happened now could not be as embarrassing as that.

The infirmary was empty today thanks to the fact that there had been no fighting for weeks now, only preparation. Kaze's injury had been minor and he was gone now, leaving Takumi well and truly alone in the small room. But speaking of, Takumi was sitting on the bed with the duvet wrapped around his shoulders. Upon seeing the other prince walk in, he smiled up at him with chattering teeth and extended a hand for the book Leo was carrying.

“Hello, yes it’s good to see you too.” He sniggered, placing the book on Takumi’s open palm. It was a thick one this time and he laughed again when his wrist couldn’t support the weight and the book fell straight off.

He picked it up and straightened out the dust cover, making sure it wasn’t damaged. It wasn’t. He scanned over the cover and gave Leo a look he didn’t understand. “I was getting to that,” He replied. “Thanks for bringing this along, I finished the other one yesterday.”

“It’s no issue.” Leo thought about sitting down, but Takumi’s shivering was worrying him a little. So instead he opened up the cupboards by the window and had a hunt around for an extra blanket. Hey now, it wasn't like he actually _cared_ or anything, it was just in his nature to help out when someone who was suffering. Anyway, he grabbed one out and threw it over, catching Takumi by surprise and landing on the top of his head.

“You have bad aim,” He commented, navigating the big swathe of material so he could warm up. He looked tiny underneath the two giant duvets and Leo couldn’t help but feel like he was sitting with a child. “It’s cold today, it wasn’t like this yesterday.”

Look, it was half true. Outside was warm, what with all the bright sunlight that had unceremoniously woken him up this morning. But it was overcast and it made the sunlight weird, you know that type that would filter through the clouds and make everything sticky warm. The infirmary however was somewhat of a wind tunnel and even on warmer days, if the doors and windows were left open then the air would rush through and cool everything down to a chilly zero degrees. Okay, so maybe that was a little dramatic but it _was_ bad architecture. Though Takumi did spend most, if not all of his time in here so he could be forgiven for thinking that today was a cooler day.

“Yeah, it’s a bit colder,” He lied, finally taking a seat and slumping down so he was almost horizontal. He was feeling pretty warm from trekking halfway across the campground and probably should have worn shorts (but hadn't wanted the ridicule of his pale legs). “Um, how are you feeling today?”

“I’m okay, how are you?” He answered almost immediately, a dead giveaway that he was indeed _not_ okay. He probably wasn’t going to open up either and Leo didn’t blame him. They had only just started getting to know each other and if their roles were reversed, he probably wouldn’t say much too. And he understood, he had his own fair share of issues that he didn’t want to mention to anyone, not even his retainers. _But_ Takumi was in here trying to get better and not talking wouldn’t help that at all.

Though what if..?

No, that couldn’t be right.

But what if it was? What if Takumi wasn’t trying to get better? Everything that he’d heard from the prince had been that _Ryoma is forcing me to stay in here, I need to train, I’m fine._ He obviously knew he was injured but maybe he thought that was it? That there were absolutely no issues with overexerting himself and skipping meals to train. It certainly would fall in line with his stubborn personality.

Anyway, he would probably have to open himself up first before he got anywhere with him. The thought of that made him uncomfortable and embarrassed though, he didn’t like leaving himself vulnerable for ridicule like that. But maybe, _just_ maybe Takumi felt the same way.

So here went nothing. “I woke up with a sore shoulder today, it’s been giving me a headache all morning.”

“Did you want to take my place in here?” He jokingly replied but there was an underlying seriousness. When Leo didn’t respond, he continued, “How did you injure yourself? You know it’s really important to be training and stretching everyday so that doesn’t happen. It’s not good for the army to be down _two_ people.”

Ha, at least he was self aware, “I train and stretch, but that doesn’t help when you fall off your horse.”

“Gods, are you okay?”

“I’m okay, it just hurts if I move it in any direction whatsoever.” Once again dramatic, but hey cut him some slack. He was trying!

They had come full circle. _Now,_ Leo told himself, _that wasn’t so bad, was it?_ He hoped that he had opened up the doors to some sort of more open communication and that Takumi would be more likely to talk to him. At first visiting the other prince had been out of obligation to his conscience, but as much as he hated to say it, it was sort of, _maybe_ becoming a voluntary thing now. He was a valuable ally on the battlefield and one of the best archers in both kingdoms, they needed him out there fighting. And Leo wasn’t ready to admit it out loud yet, but once you got past the brash front he put up, Takumi wasn’t terrible company.

"So yeah, how are you really?"

"I don't know why you don't believe me when I say I'm fine," His tone was disinterested, probably from being asked several times a day by several other people. "My injuries still hurt but other than that I'm okay. I'd be alright to go out and practice my archery as long as I don't go too hard with it."

"That's not a good idea," Leo persisted, despite the disinterest. There was no point in chickening out now. "It's best just to rest and catch up later on. If you leave now, you'll just end up in the same state you were when you came here last week." The comment made Takumi's face and fists scrunch up and Leo wondered if he'd made a misstep with his words.

"That happened purely because I'm not strong enough and I'm only going to get weaker if I'm stuck in here, staring out the window and watching everyone else train every day."

The frustration was unbearable and he had to fight his own instinct sock him in the arm. “Do you want to be able to come back and fight with the army?” Maybe it was harsh, but what else would work?

“I do, and I’d be fine to if Ryoma would just let me out of here.”

“Takumi, you don’t seriously believe—“

Fists clenched up again, so tight this time that his knuckles were turning white. “No, I know. I’m not stupid.” Something faltered. His expression didn’t outright change, but the confidence was gone.

It reminded him of a situation, one that he tried not to bring up too often but remembered all too well. Four years ago he recalled, Xander had been spending a lot of time with a lovely lady (his words) he had met while sparring out in the village. He spoke endlessly about her, how she could keep up with him and laughed constantly. He’d never seen his brother so happy but it was soon squashed out by their father who said that only princesses were acceptable suitresses. He had wondered if their father would feel the same way about suitors too but he didn’t ask. Not that that mattered anyway.

_“It’s okay,” Xander had told him that night. “It was never going to work, our upbringings were too different.”_

The situation was nothing like this, but the reluctant acceptance was the same.

“I didn’t say that you were.”

“I talk it up like I’m healthy and fine, but I know that I’m not. I live in this godforsaken body so no one knows that better than me,” He had shut his eyes, as if that made everything easier. “You think it’s fun to be stuck in here all day, sleeping all the time because I have no energy to get up and do anything? I can’t even shoot my bow, Leo and that was the only thing I was good at before.”

He didn’t know how to reply. This was the first time Takumi had opened up to him at all but he wasn’t sure what to say that didn’t make both of them feel awkward. “If you know that, then why don’t you do something?"

“You have no idea how much I want to be healthy. I want to be a part of the army like everyone else, I hate being stuck in here.”

“Then why?”

He’d opened his eyes again and had been staring at Leo for a minute or two. He opened his mouth to reply but shut it again almost immediately and looked away. He didn’t say anything straight away and Leo sat there patiently, thinking back to his conversation with both Ryoma and Xander this time.

“Why do you even care?” If the situation had been different, Leo would have made a comment about him sounding like a moody teenager. But that wouldn’t be appropriate nor helpful, so he kept the thought inside his mind. Takumi was banging his fist against his knee in frustration, watching and waiting for a response.

He had to pick his words carefully otherwise all this would be for naught and they would be back at square one again. He still wasn’t sure how Takumi thought of him either, whether he was still distrustful and put up with his visiting because he had nothing else to do or if he (like Leo) had grown to actually sort of consider him a friend. Sure they weren’t particularly close, but Leo didn't hate him. He should probably just tell him that, right? Once again though, easier said than done.

“…I guess because I feel responsible?”

He whipped his head back around, his face a storm cloud. “Right right, so basically to make yourself feel less guilty?” Gods, he’d messed that one up. “Well guess what, it’s nothing to do with you, it’s all to do with me. There, you can stop feeling bad now and you don’t have to visit anymore.”

“No, no, that came out wrong. It’s not what I meant at all,” Takumi glared up at him, daring him to go on. He felt his face starting to heat up so he closed his eyes, picturing the big open field back home that he liked to spar in - the calmest place he could think of. “It was certainly the reason I came to visit the first time but the the subsequent other times was because I—um, “ Gods, why was this so difficult? What was wrong with him? “Your company isn't so bad and at this point I think of you as a, well, you know..."

"A what?"

"Um...friend.”

There wasn’t a response straight away and Leo sat there, feeling like the weight of the tension in the air was going to crush him until he was flat against the ground. It was the same sort of feeling he had whenever he was in his father’s company. Except this time he didn’t have his siblings with him to help, he had to deal with it himself. But you know what? He could do that because he was sitting with someone who was struggling with something a lot more difficult than he was.

A long, drawn out breath brought his focus back in. “Um, it’s kind of like this,” He had grabbed the blanket he was sitting underneath and was twiddling it around nervously. “I know that I'm not weak, but if I make one mistake or miss training for one day I feel like all my training has been for nothing. Like I’m a disgrace to family or that I'll never be as good as Ryoma, and then I hate myself even more than usual.”

“I know what that’s like.”

He smirked and that one tiny thing lifted the whole atmosphere of the room. It was okay, they were okay. They were friends. “You’re full of self loathing too?”

“Yeah, what middle child isn’t?” A laugh from both of them this time and at that moment Leo felt something shift. There was a sort of mutual trust between them and later on he would wonder if this was why their brothers kept comparing them. "But Gods, don't we sound angsty. I would be incredibly embarrassed if anyone overheard our conversation."

Takumi's eyes darted around the room, making sure they were indeed alone. Once satisfied that they were, he said with a grin, "Let's keep this between us, alright?"

The routine continued the following week, with Leo visiting every two days at the insistence of Takumi wanting more books to read. The visits grew longer in length, especially when they would play shogi (he wanted chess but had conceded) and their matches would last for hours. Sometimes Takumi wouldn't be in the mood to speak and they'd instead sit there in what would have previously been an awkward silence but wasn't any more. Leo would never have thought that he'd feel as comfortable as he did with any Hoshidan, let alone Takumi but he couldn't say it was an unpleasant surprise. Socialising could be okay after all.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and happy holidays! Not sure when I'll get the next chapter out, but I'll sure try my hardest :)  
> For someone so smart, Leo is extremely dense in this lmao

It was the astonishingly fast past at which Takumi demolished books that increased the visits to every second day. Not that Leo minded, in fact he wouldn't have minded visiting daily but hadn't presented the suggestion yet for both fear of rejection and fear of encroaching on Takumi's alone time. Takumi did say that he got bored and appreciated the company but Leo _wasn't_ the only one who was visiting him, evident by how he'd run into Hinoka and Sakura on multiple occasions.

Today's visit was mid-morning, after tidying up the mess hall (it was his turn for clean up duty, ugh). Xander had cornered him during the process, suggesting the two of them train together but he passed on the invitation. They'd be at it all day if he'd agreed and he really didn't have the stamina for that after scrubbing down a whole army's worth of plates and cutlery. After cleaning _himself_ up, he'd sped to the library and grabbed a random book before making his way to the infirmary. He cursed whoever had created this outrealm for making the two buildings so far apart, they were practically on opposite sides!

He pulled his shirt tight around his chest in an attempt to keep himself warm as he trekked through the corridor towards his destination. He usually brought something to layer up with but the bombardment of Xander this morning had thrown him out and he'd completely forgotten. He'd have to use a blanket, that is if Takumi wasn't hoarding them all like he usually did.

Halfway down the corridor, a chill passed through him but it wasn't because of the cool air this time. It was the sort of chill you got when someone was walking over your grave and that someone was Oboro who had just emerged from inside the infirmary and was glaring at him down the hallway. Her face was furious and he'd be forgiven for thinking that he'd committed some grave sin against her.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I see you're going to visit Lord Takumi again," She hissed, face somehow getting angrier. "You better not be filling milord's head with those Nohrian ideals of yours."

 _Calm blue ocean, Leo, think of that song Azura sings. You are the ocean's grey waves, or something._ With a deep breath, he replied, "I am merely visiting to lend him books, gives him something to do while his injuries are healing. Figured that it's the least I can do."

"Yes," She said, face suddenly changing to a smirk. "It is." Her words made him tense up and she clearly realised this, letting him pass but continuing to smile smugly until he had disappeared into the infirmary.

Takumi looked up at his sudden appearance, an earnest (and most importantly, not smug) smile on his own face. In an instant, Leo's interaction with Oboro was forgotten and the tension gone. The book he'd lended only two days ealier, discarded on the small table next to him. He swiped it up, replacing it with the new one.

"Hey," He greeted with a wave. "Want to play chess today? We've played show-gee _more_ than enough times already."

" _Shogi,"_ He corrected with a laugh. "But you only say that because you're sick of losing. Well in the words of the immortal scholar, um, what's his name again? Whatever, doesn't matter. As he says, _get good._ "

"I am good, you're just better," He laughed back. "And you should be flattered, I don't compliment many people like that."

"Yeah, yeah," He waved the compliment away with his hand. "But I actually had a different idea. You're not going to believe this."

"Enlighten me."

"I spoke with Ryoma and a nurse from Hoshido today," Takumi started, a smile slowly spreading across his face. "And she said that the injuries have healed enough that I can start going for walks around the campground." The elation was clearly evident and Leo didn't blame him. He'd been stuck in the infirmary for what, three weeks now? He must have felt so relieved.

"That's great news, shows that you're getting better."

"Gods, you have no idea how glad I am to be able to get out of this boring old room," The smile was so large now, threatening to split his face in two. "But anyway, the reason I tell you is because I'm wondering if you'll come with me? Could do with some company."

The invitation caught him off guard and Takumi must have seen the surprise because his cheeks reddened as if his suggestion had been wrong. It was nice to hear though and made him happy for reasons he couldn't quite identify.

"Sure," He replied. "Right now?"

He glanced out the window, eyes scanning the busy field below. Most of the army was out, chatting, sparring and just generally enjoying the good weather. Well, as much as they could in the dire situation. He turned back around and said, "No, I think around dusk when everyone is having dinner. Kind of embarrassing for them to see me like this."

He wanted to tell him that he was being dumb and in fact everyone was rooting for him, but he knew that it would fall on deaf ears. So instead he said, "Dusk is good, the weather is nicer then."

The remainder of his visit was spent with a very intense chess game that he eventually was declared the victor of. Takumi, who was unsurprisingly competitive had sworn vengeance on him and had asked for him to bring a book about the rules of chess next time. He departed unwillingly after that, having agreed yesterday to help Camilla out with some weapon maintenance. It was the _slowest_ afternoon he'd ever had, each hour taking twice as long as it normally did. It wasn't as if he was _excited_ to be hanging out with Takumi again, but it wouldn't be amiss to say he looked forward to their visits.

After many, _many_ eons of hours, the sky had started to darken signalling that dusk was almost upon them. A glance up at the clock in his quarters told him that he had twenty minutes before the time they'd agreed on. He _had_ intended on scarfing down dinner first but what he did instead was speed to the library to find a book on chess. He could always eat dinner afterwards. Unless it was soup, in which case he'd be _mad._

He said a small hello to Takumi as he re-entered the infirmary, handing the book over so he could place it on top of the other one (that he'd started reading already, the dog-eared pages indicated). "So I won't beat you as badly as I did last time." He explained.

"I'm surprised to see that you actually brought it, I thought you'd want to keep winning," It was said with a chuckle but his face was flat, almost like he was disappointed. "But hey, now you don't have to visit me for like a week."

"I'll still visit you, don't worry." He smiled but inside he was all confusion. Was he reading into it too much to think that Takumi didn't like the idea of him not coming in? More than likely he was, Takumi probably just liked having company rather than Leo's specifically.

This seemed to perk his companion up however and he swung his legs off the bed, standing up for the first time in weeks. Well, it probably wasn't but it was the first time Leo had seen it. He instructed him that he wanted to walk an entire lap around the outside of the campgrounds and then when Leo's stomach grumbled audibly, he added with a laugh that it wouldn't take too much of his time.

He hadn't realised how quiet the grounds got when everyone congregated in the mess hall at meal time. For a brief moment he panicked about how this was leaving them vulnerable to invading attackers, but quickly remembered they were in an outrealm. It was silent, the only sounds being their footsteps and Takumi's soft breathing which he was suddenly extremely aware of. Once he'd realised this, he noticed how close their bodies were to each other. One half-step to the right and they'd be touching. This wouldn't have happened a few weeks ago, neither would have wanted to come within ten feet of each other if they could have helped it.

He smelt like dirt and leaves, an earthy smell but also kind of like a blossom at the same time. Not unfamiliar but not something that was common in Nohr. Maybe it was what they washed their clothes with in Hoshido, although he certainly hadn't noticed it with any of the others before. Then again, it wasn't as if he actively tried to smell anyone in the army. He wondered if Takumi even realised how nice he smelt, probably not. He probably wouldn't even care. Wouldn't even care that it was making Leo's cheeks heat up.

Initially they'd kept the same pace, but after fifty metres or so Takumi's steps fell slightly behind. He stopped putting so much pressure on his right leg, his walk turning into a slight limp. Clearly the injured leg was far from being fully healed. His face was determined though, gaze fixed on whatever was in front of them. Obviously he wanted to see it through and Leo had to fight the urge to tell him that that unwavering determination was what had landed him in the infirmary to begin with. This time, at least, he wasn't alone so Leo could pull him back if need be.

His pace slowed considerably until finally when they were halfway around the campground, he admitted defeat. "I uh, could use a little support." He mumbled, refusing to look Leo in the eyes, as if asking for help was the most shameful thing in the world.

"Oh, um sure," He answered. "Did you want to turn around? Or I can go get something from the infirmary if you need it?"

"Nothing that extreme, I just kind of need you to help me over to the wall over there." He nodded to the small stone wall on the outskirts of their camp and slung his arm around Leo's shoulders. The sudden contact made him flinch and he hoped that Takumi didn't take it the wrong way, he just hadn't been expecting it. Once composed, he gently placed his own arm around Takumi's waist so as to not disturb his torso injury and slowly started towards the wall.

It was probably a combination of Takumi trusting him enough to have their bodies touching and well, their bodies touching that was making his heart beat ten times faster than usual. It was totally a normal reaction to friendship though, he told himself, he just never got this close to anyone. Growing up in a castle was surprisingly isolating and he hadn't had many friends besides his siblings and retainers, so yeah ~~probably~~ definitely just a normal reaction to being in such close proximity to a friend.

These thoughts plagued him until they arrived at their destination and extracted their arms from one another. Takumi wasted no time in taking a seat on the half-height wall, looking relieved to have the pressure taken off of his injury. Leo joined him a moment later.

"Guess I've still got a while to go before it's all healed properly." He said with a sigh. It must be disappointing, he seemed to be hanging on to the hope that this walk would prove he was okay to come back and join the cause.

"I'm happy to walk at whatever pace works for you," Leo replied. "I don't mind coming, gives me something to look forward to."

He smiled. "You must lead a very boring life if hanging out with me is the best part of your day."

"I wouldn't describe wartime as boring, but I certainly wouldn't say it's fun in any way," He said with a chuckle. "And besides, your company isn't all bad."

"I could say the same thing about you, Prince Leo." His heartbeat - which had calmed down now that they weren't touching - quickened again at the comment and he was glad he could blame his still pink cheeks on the wind that was blowing through the grounds.

In an attempt to get the heat to disperse from his cheeks and into the rest of his body, he steered the conversation away from whatever it was they were talking about now and said, "What are you going to do once this is all over?"

"I haven't really thought about it," He hummed. "Ryoma says I should study government and become an advisor of his, but I'm undecided. I'm not sure how much help I would be, especially compared to someone like Hinoka."

"Don't discount yourself like that, everyone can offer a unique perspective on situations," He wanted to nip that train of thought in the bud before Takumi went chasing after it. "No one in your family besides you is an archer, after all."

Takumi was staring at the building in front of them as Leo spoke, the armory. All the buildings looked the same from the back but the smithing station next to it gave it away. A thrilling view that made him miss home. Nohr was cold and dark but at least the architecture was interesting. Leo had looked at Takumi many times over the past few weeks and had seen a number of things on his face including but not limited to frustration and exhaustion. He was no stranger to extreme emotions, after all. But right now, his expression was soft and as if his mind was a million miles away. Perhaps thinking of home himself.

He'd never looked at him like this before, he thought as he studied the slope of his nose and how his lips were slightly parted as he breathed in the cool air. His cheeks were tinged with a slight blush too and Leo was grateful that he wasn't the only one (must have definitely been due to the wind if that was the case). It wouldn't be incorrect for one to label him as handsome, features perfectly put together as a royal's should be. That was objectively speaking of course, certainly not subjectively.

He blinked a few times, breaking his stare at the armory and turned back to Leo with a grin. "I guess I should start a family, although that's more important for Ryoma. He's the one that's going to carry on the family name. Not sure how good a father I would make anyway, I still feel like a big baby myself," He chuckled. "My mother, bless her heart, used to always bring suitors and suitresses around for us to meet. She had good intentions but none of us were ever keen."

"Gods, how awkward is it?" He laughed, thinking back on his own similar experiences. "The same thing would happen for us. Camilla tried to make me take a few of them out but I told her I wasn't interested. She even tried to get Xander and I to go together once."

Takumi's face had gone from incredulous to strangely relaxed at his last comment. "I thought you were going to say you _actually_ took some of them out. Look I'm sure you're very charming, Prince Leo, but I have a hard time imagining you entertaining people you do not know." Leo dropped his mouth open in mock offense but didn't argue back because honestly, Takumi wasn't wrong. He had _no_ idea about the details of it all though.

You see, Leo had had this internal debate going on for a little while that no one besides Niles knew about. He _had_ been the catalyst for it kicking off after all. And what is this debate, you ask? Well, he was trying to work out if he preferred the company of suitors over suitresses or both. Yeah, that old chestnut.

So yes, it had started with Niles. Seeing him sneak many a different companion into his quarters on his days off had introduced him to the big wide world of other relationship options than just what was considered traditional. Until that point, the extent of his knowledge had been Kings and Queens and nothing more. He'd questioned him about it, asked why it wasn't just the maidens from the town that he was spending time with. The response came in the form of a chuckle and the explanation that the gentlemen were just as beautiful.

This had become a great source of fascination and confusion for the younger Leo and he would bombard Niles with questions. They were so frequent that one day Niles had asked if there was something he needed to tell him. Embarrassed, he'd stomped off to his quarters and hadn't brought it up again. He'd pushed the questions out of his mind in the ensuing years, focusing mostly on his studies and combat and not allowing himself to get bogged down with idle crushes. As he grew older, more aware of his surroundings he would find himself accidentally looking at some of the army's soldiers in a way that was more than admiration. The thoughts made him blush like the tomatoes he loved so but he continued to keep his head down, it was just the teenage hormones and the lack of experience with romance is all.

When the suitresses came around, he felt less for them than he expected and he'd finally been forced to think about things. After much contemplation, he finally admitted that he himself didn't fit into that "traditional" mold. He hadn't worked out what mold he did fit into yet but that was okay, Niles had said after he'd confided in him one evening. Everyone figured things out at their own pace.

"I'm sure they were great company," He shrugged. "But there was too much going on to even entertain the idea of a relationship."

He _hmm'd_ at the words. Agreeance? Disappointment? Was he hoping for more of a story? He couldn't tell.

"That hasn't stopped some people." The comment was probably about Kagero and Saizo, the two strictest soldiers who somehow had rekindled their relationship through these turbulent times. Or perhaps if was about Xander's retainer, notorious for his flirtatious tendencies.

"I guess perhaps situations like these can bring people closer together," He nodded. "It's true for us, I wouldn't have thought I would have made a friend under these circumstances."

"And a Hoshidan friend at that." He thumbed himself in the chest with a laugh.

That reminded him, he'd been wanting to ask about another Hoshidan all day. Ever since his run-in with her this morning, he'd been wanting to know what Oboro's deal was. He couldn't remember ever having any interaction with her before that, at least nothing that should have invoked such hostility. Sure there was stil general hostility between some Nohrian and Hoshidan soldiers, but her's was another level.

"Speaking of Hoshidans, what's up with your retainer?"

"Hinata? What's wrong with him? I know he can be a little full-on, but he's a good guy at heart. Likes fighting."

"No, he's fine," He said. Hinata was one of the kindest towards him actually, always greeting him with a smile when they passed by each other. "I mean Oboro. She almost bit my head off this morning when we saw each other in the hallway."

"Oh," His face scrunched up. "She's not a fan of the Nohrian people. Can you blame her though? Her parents were killed by Nohrian soldiers," The topic of parents immediately sombered the atmosphere and Leo could swear the temperature dropped ten degrees. It was a topic that would require a lot more discussion and energy than they probably both had right now. Another time perhaps. Takumi, also clearly feeling the change coughed awkwardly and continued, "But uh, Hinata says she has feelings for me so it could be that she's jealous of you spending time with me."

"Why?" He laughed. "We aren't courting."

A small smile tugged at the corner of Takumi's lips. "We're not, Prince Leo of Castle Krakenburg? And here I thought you were trying to woo me this entire time." It was a joke, of course and he forced out a laugh to hide the fact that the comment made him uneasy. Not in a bad way at all, but in a way he couldn't quite figure out just yet. A way that would certainly keep him awake for many nights to come as he overthought it.

The grounds were a little noisier now, the first few members of the army had finished their dinner and were starting to emerge from the mess hall. The sound of feet shuffling across the dirt alerted Takumi to this fact and he pushed himself off the wall, signalling to Leo that it was time to keep going lest someone see them.

He started walking unaided before quickly realising that the short rest hadn't completely healed his injuries and he still required a little support from Leo. Having their arms wrapped around each other wasn't as much of a surprise as the first time and Leo was able to keep his hammering heart in better check this time. Their gait was awkward and lumbering and at one point as they shifted around a corner, Takumi's hair flicked up and hit Leo in the face. After spluttering melodramatically, Takumi had laughed and said that that was even more reason to cut it all off.

When they made it back to the infirmary, Takumi didn't immediately sit back down on his bed despite the exhaustion written all over his face. He stood, weight shifted awkwardly off his injured leg and stared down at it, shoulders slumped. His eyes were flat and so was his voice as he said, "I finally got out of here, I don't want to come back."

"It won't be much longer."

"Yeah, I know," He shook himself out of his state and climbed up onto the mattress. "Thanks."

"Same time tomorrow?"

"For walking, yeah but feel free to come in and play shogi with me at any point." He was settling under the covers now, head against the pillow. As he spoke, his eyes drooped shut and he had to force them open with a start. He wasn't long for the land of the conscious, the walk having seemingly tired him out. It was no surprise, it was the most activity he'd done in weeks.

Leo took this as a sign to leave and after saying a quick goodbye before Takumi well and truly conked out, he made his way out. A grumble from his empty stomach guided him towards the mess hall - which was now fortunately empty - and a speedy dinner was had. It was still warm, thank the Gods but it wasn't great. Perhaps they should all go take a cooking class or two after this was all over.

It was dark by the time he was done and the nightfall brought with it a sudden wave of extreme tiredness. He was glad he didn't run into anyone on his way to his quarters because all he would have been capable of was grunting out an _mmm_ of acknowledgement. The day hadn't even been that busy but everything had just caught up to him at once. He fell out of his clothes and into his pyjamas, not even bothering to fold and put them away. That was tomorrow Leo's problem.

But as luck would have it, as soon as his head hit that rock hard military-grade pillow he was wide awake again. The body was tired, but the mind was suddenly replaying every word he'd said to Takumi during the day. Why was Oboro jealous of him? What had caused his heart to flutter in his chest like there were hundreds of butterflies in there? Why did it not happen when talking to other members of the army? And of course, replaying Takumi's comments about "wooing him" several times over. He was an adult, he should know the answers to these things.

* * *

After such a restless night's sleep, Leo had woken up at the tail end of breakfast once again. He drowsily chomped through whatever it was that was slopped onto his plate before heading to the bath house, hoping that it would get rid of the last lingering remnants of sleep. Usually he liked to go in the evening but last night had been a write off and he didn't want to risk stinking up the infirmary this morning. Nohrian armour (and even to an extent regular clothing) was many things, but breathable was not one of them.

On his way through he ran into Camilla and Elise who were just leaving, clearly having gotten themselves up earlier than their younger brother had. Elise was complaining about something as she fumbled with a tie on her dress, eventually giving up and turning to Camilla who fixed it up with a laugh. He couldn't help but chuckle himself which alerted his sisters to his presence and they both looked up at the same time.

"Leo!" Camilla called. "I missed you at dinner last night. Will I see you there tonight?"

He shook his head. "I agreed to walk with Prince Takumi each evening so I won't be there for a while. I'll make more of an effort to eat breakfast with you all though."

"Oh?" An inquisitive eyebrow raise that was soon joined by an all-knowing big sister smile. "I understand. Who am I to stop the strengthening of relations between two kingdoms after all?" The comment made Elise giggle and Leo, now huffy stomped into the bath house.

He'd cooled off - both literally and figuratively - by the time he made it to the infirmary and announced his arrival with a loud " _hey Takumi, finished the chess book yet?"_ as he pushed the doors open. Unfortunately this arrival was only heard by one person and it was not the person he intended. Hinata, it was. Thankfully not one of the silent ninja who would just stare at him and make him feel decidedly more awkward than he already did.

He scanned the room, eyes zeroing in on the now empty bed that had been occupied by the other Prince for the past three weeks. The sheets were pulled up tight and the pillows had been plumped as if no one had been using it recently. The two books had also been taken away and as Leo frantically looked for any sign of his friend, even going so far as to look for the heat pack on the shelf, he felt his stomach drop.


	5. Chapter 5

There were a number of concerns racing through Leo's mind as he stared confused at the empty bed in front of him. The most pressing being was Takumi okay followed closely by where was he? Had he snuck out again like he'd attempted a few weeks back? As he stood there internally panicking, he started to wonder if he'd missed clues in their recent conversations. Takumi had admitted that he didn't want to come back after their walk yesterday, maybe he'd meant something by that that Leo hadn't picked up on.

Or, Gods, what if something had happened overnight and he had injured himself again? He could have snuck out to train and been attacked like before! He was already in a vulnerable state with his existing wounds which meant it would be dire for something worse to happen. Visions of him being whisked out of the infirmary and taken to a proper medical facility in Hoshido danced before his eyes, so strong that he convinced himself that there was absolutely _no_ other scenario that could have happened.

"Leo!" Hinata casually lobbed his name across the room, forgoing the honorifics as he always did despite being consistently told off by Oboro. His voice was friendly, a surprise considering it was _his_ lord that was missing. "You alright? Look like you've seen a faceless."

"I'm just surprised that Prince Takumi isn't in here." He replied, trying and failing to keep his voice indifferent. Hinata, who had been previously tending to a small nick on his forearm, hopped up from his seat and strode over to stand next to Leo. It was the second day in a row he'd stood so close to a Hoshidan and he noted that _this_ Hoshidan didn't smell like any sort of blossom. He smelt like fighting, whatever that was. Sweat, grime, general grossness.

"Oh don't look so worried about that," His laugh irked Leo, as if he was being ridiculed for showing concern. "He's just in his quarters. I can take you there if you like now that I've got this bad boy all fixed up." He waved his overly bandaged arm in Leo's face, oblivious to the wave of relief he'd just caused the prince. He was okay!

But the thought of going to Takumi's private quarters caused that weird fluttery feeling in his chest to come back (just like from yesterday). For all of his supposed intelligence, an explanation for this was evading him so he decided to blame it on the leftover anxiety from a few moments ago. That would make sense, these things could last a while.

He considered saying no, it was one thing to come to the shared infirmary but another thing altogether to go into someone's _private_ quarters without a proper invitation, that was royal etiquette 101. But perhaps he didn't want to follow royal etiquette right now. He'd been following it his entire life, let him have a break! Before he even had a chance to mull over the options in his head though, his mouth was already saying, "Uh, would that be alright? I don't want to intrude in his private space."

"Nah nah, it's all good," He nodded, already halfway out the door. "Besides, he tells me how he enjoys your visits so I'm sure he won't mind."

Now Hinata didn't yank him out the room and drag him towards the building the Hoshidan royals were rooming in, but he might as well have with the enthusiasm he showed leading him through the campground. Leo didn't even have time to feel awkward because he filled the quiet with stories of his hard-fought victories and fighting competitions that he'd entered. Leo could swear that he didn't take a single breath the entire time, rattling off the explanation behind each and every scar he had with a pride that was usually reserved for parents speaking about their children.

The stories themselves were rather inane but Leo found himself chuckling along each time Hinata let out a loud _"BAM! I knocked that guy out and then, WHAM! Whacked the other one over the head"._ He was as eccentric as Odin just in a different sort of way and he made a mental note to let his own retainer know he appreciated him. Odin was a _lot_ but there was no doubt he was entertaining, especially in these tough times. But anyway, he was in the middle of describing a rather long scar on his bicep when suddenly he stopped mid-word and pushed a door they'd suddenly arrived at open.

"Here we are!" He announced, gesturing broadly. The sudden change in topic made Leo tumble out of the story and back into reality, a reality where he was staring at Takumi sitting cross-legged on his bed and looking just as bewildered as Leo did.

"Hinata, what's going -- oh, hey Leo." He fumbled a wave upon noticing the other prince standing behind his retainer. He waved back and Hinata just grinned proudly like a cat that had brought a dead bird to its owner.

"Hey Milord, Leo here came to the infirmary looking for you so I brought him here. Hope that's okay!"

"I thought I'd told you and Oboro earlier this morning to let him know where I was," He answered, eyes narrowing at his retainer. It wasn't malicious but certainly indicated that this wasn't the first instance of forgetfulness. This was further confirmed by Hinata who was fiddling with the end of his ponytail sheepishly, refusing to meet his lord's gaze. "At ease, Hinata. I'll see you later on." A quick nod and he scurried away, probably off to get more scars at the sparring ground.

As the door swung shut behind him, Leo suddenly become hyper-aware that it was just him and Takumi now. The two of them alone in Takumi's private quarters, the room where his _friend_ would sleep and -- he had to stop that thought in its tracks lest he start blushing and having to explain his sudden inability to speak. He wasn't sure _why_ being in Takumi's quarters was stirring up all this strangeness inside, it wasn't as if he'd never been in a bedroom that wasn't his before (and he couldn't blame it on the anxiety anymore).

It was strange, being welcomed into someone's private space like this. Sure, he'd spent plenty of time in his siblings' rooms and even hung out in the retainer quarters if he'd been particularly bored or lonely, but they all _had_ to hang out with him whether they wanted to or not. Even his own father had kept him at arm's length most of his life, so this situation was incredibly foreign to him. Although it was probably just a natural progression of friendship, right? He could hear Elise's voice chirping in the back of his mind, _you're overthinking it again,_ she scolded.

The room itself was quite bare, but that made sense. It was temporary lodgings _and_ he hadn't been in here for weeks. The bed was large, much better suited for someone of Xander's stature rather than theirs and the pillows were embroidered with the Hoshidan royal family crest. He only knew what it was because every Hoshidan soldier had it emblazoned on their armour somewhere, even the ninja (which kind of defeated the purpose of their stealth). Next to the bed were the books and a small painting of Takumi and his siblings from when they were younger. His hair was shorter and shoulders narrower, so if he had to hazard a guess at the ages he would put him at fifteen. He was sure that he himself had been _just_ as dorky at that age, but it still made him want to chuckle.

"So uh, welcome to my quarters," He waved his arm around the empty room. "I apologise that it's not particularly exciting. Wish I could tell past-Takumi to bring something fun from home to do."

"One doesn't often think about hobbies and entertainment during wartime," He said, attempting to keep his voice level so as not to betray the mixed up feelings in his chest. It was just like when he was a teenager, trying to stop his voice from cracking while speaking at the war council meetings. "What are you doing in here? I thought you were stuck in the infirmary indefinitely."

"So did I," He replied. "But this morning the nurse told me that they didn't need to do regular check ups anymore so I could hang out in here as long as I didn't try to get up and do too much. I have to say, I like having my privacy back." There was no energy behind his voice and they didn't sound very convincing. Seemed like the walk from yesterday tired him out more than he'd realised.

"I can imagine," He couldn't really. He'd never been through anything like this. "But now _I_ have to say, I almost had a heart attack when you weren't there this morning."

"Oh, does Prince Leo care about me?" It was said teasingly but his tone was still flat, so it didn't have much impact. Still made him red-faced though.

"--no, I mean, yeah of course, everyone does. I'd gotten used to visting you there is all."

"I'm just teasing you, you know your visits are keeping me sane," He laughed. "But anyway, that's why I told my retainers to let you know. Probably should have told Ryoma or something instead if I'd wanted the message to reach you." Leo didn't say it, but he thought that Oboro's forgetting probably hadn't been accidental like Hinata's had.

Now that his heart had settled, he glanced around the room to try and find somewhere to sit. His search resulted in two options, the first one being the floor as there were no chairs or anything even resembling a chair whatsoever. And while he didn't think himself above sitting on the floor, it didn't look very comfortable. Hard floor boards without any sort of rug or carpet in sight, he could feel his tailbone hurting already. Option two threatened to make his pulse quicken again and while that wasn't ideal, it _was_ the better option of the two. You see, option two was to sit on Takumi's bed.

Clearly his seating concern was written all over his face because the other prince piped up with, "I didn't think to bring a chair in, sorry. But you can sit on the bed, it's big enough for both of us." He realised the implication of his suggestion as soon as the words were out of his mouth, resulting in cheeks so red in a way that was usually reserved for Leo.

With a nod now that he had permission, he crossed the room and confidently placed himself down on the end of the bed (roughly a metre away from Takumi, not that he was measuring). Well, he liked to say confidently but it was a false bravado so that his current companion wouldn't pick up on his nervousness, something he was well adept at to hide his near constant state of anxiety. He was often told that if you were to look up the dictionary definition of the three Cs, there would be an image of him there but he begged to differ. He was neither calm nor collected, but he wouldn't deny the coolness.

"Do you want to play show-gee? I think that I've finally come up with a strategy to whoop you."

He didn't answer immediately which told Leo that the answer was probably going to be the negative. His long fingers were roughly brushing through the ends of his hair which wasn't tied up today, tense and on edge. In fact, he had a serious case of bedhead with the short bits up top sticking up way more than usual. Leo made a mental note to borrow a brush from Camilla to lend to him. His face was confused (no longer red), like he was having an internal argument with himself. Leo had seen that before, not recently but definitely the first few times he'd been to visit. He'd never put the pieces together though, always just assuming that he was being his normal moody self.

"Can I be honest with you?" He said, breaking the quiet. Leo nodded. "I don't feel up to it."

Leo waited moment, waiting to see if he was going to offer any further explanation. When he didn't, he asked, "Is everything okay?"

"I didn't sleep well," He shrugged. "And um, I don't really know how to explain this but I just feel off today. I know I should be happy because I'm in my quarters now and I am, but I don't feel great. Does that make sense? I don't feel like it does."

It was easy to forget that Takumi was in the situation to begin with thanks to his own inner battles and mental hurdles, rather than just the injuries. Every so often he'd admit something to him and gave him a peek into what was going on inside that noggin, but mostly their conversations were light-hearted and so he'd forget. Though he did note (and appreciate) the honesty, a few weeks ago getting even a quarter of that information would have been as painful as pulling teeth.

But he understood, _oh how he understood._ He absolutely had days like that too. They weren't happening right now with the war occupying half his time and Takumi occupying the rest, but back home they used to. Some days just the thought of talking to anyone -- even his siblings -- exhausted him and he would hole up in the corner of his quarters or in the libary to lose the hours in a book. If father was in a bad mood, he'd crawl underneath a table and bury his head into whatever he was reading in an attempt to avoid detection. Sometimes Elise would join him and they'd sit there silently, waiting for the thunder to pass.

"Did you want me to leave then? I won't be offended if you want to be alone right now."

"No," It was muttered so quietly that Leo almost missed it. "But we can read together or something. Just don't have the energy for shogi and I don't want to lose."

"I should have known that's why." He joked in an attempt to lighten the mood and Takumi just smirked as he reached across the bed to pick up the two books sitting there. He passed one over and Leo immediately gave it right back. "Read that one before," He explained. "But I'll just run down to the library to get something new."

As he left the Hoshidan housing, he tried to make a note of which door belonged to Takumi. He'd been so distracted by Hinata's stories that he really had no idea which room they'd entered when he first came through and he could just see himself accidentally barging in on Princess Hinoka on his way back. His retainers nor Elise would ever let him forget it if that did happen. If they wouldn't let him live down the amount of times he'd put his shirt on inside out, they _certainly_ wouldn't let that go.

The library was quiet, he thought as he scoured the shelves for a book to take back. He hadn't thought much about reading today thanks to the lack of sleep last night and wasn't sure what to take back to the room. Not something overly complicated that he'd have to focus on, although that would probably be a good distraction from sitting so close to his friend. He'd been trying to stray away from books about war and combat as they'd been making him sad recently but it seemed to be what most of the library was filled up with. Guess he should just feel lucky that there was a library in the outrealms to begin with.

"Milord!" The voice startled him and he snatched up the closest book, causing whoever it was to cackle loudly. He spun around, book clutched tightly to his chest obscuring the title and came face to face with his very own retainer.

"Hey Niles, what are you doing in here?"

"I could ask the same of you." He asked, eyeing the book and causing Leo to shift awkwardly, revealing cover in the process.

"It is far more in character for me to be in the library than it is you," He answered. It wasn't that he didn't _want_ to talk to Niles, he just wanted to get back to Takumi. "But if you must know, I'm finding a book to read with Prince Takumi."

This comment - for whatever reason - caused Niles to smirk and waggle his eyebrows in that stupidly suggestive manner he was infamous for. "Well then, I'll leave you to it, milord." He side-stepped around Leo, reaching for a book on the shelf just behind him. Leo didn't hang around long enough to read the title of it, but he did catch a glimpse of the scantily clad figures that adorned the cover. He should have known that was the only way Niles would be caught dead reading something.

He inspected the cover of his own book once he was back on his way to the quarters and had to steady himself on the closest wall when he realised what he'd picked up. _A First Time for Everything,_ it was called and the blurb told him that it was about two soldiers in an ancient war who managed to find "love". By the revealing armour that both soldiers had on on the cover, he suspected that it was a little more raunchy than the description would lead one to believe. He briefly considered marching back in there and exchanging it for something more appropriate, but the thought of having to admit his mistake to Niles would be too embarrassing.

So he sucked it up, held the mortifying cover close to his chest so no one could see it and marched right on back to Takumi's quarters, thanking the Gods he'd memorised which one it was. He shuddered at the thought of accidentally going into Princess Hinoka's room _while_ holding a dirty book. All Hoshidan trust would be lost. At least he could sort of explain things to Takumi, maybe have a laugh about the whole situation and read some of the cheesy paragraphs out loud to each other.

That thought was immediately struck off though when he opened the door up. Takumi (who, to be fair had complained about not sleeping well) was laying back, eyes shut and book discarded to his side. His chest was rising up and down slowly, in a rhythm that was reserved only for those that were fast asleep and he looked - dare he say - peaceful. Silently, he snuck in and softly lowered himself at the very end of the bed so as not to disturb his nap. This must be the constant exhaustion he'd mentioned.

Seeing him so relaxed like this filled his chest with an odd sort of warmth. It started as a little kernel, slowly radiating outwards until it reached the very ends of his extremities. The warmth made him smile, rarely did either of them get a moment of complete peace like this. He supposed he should go and leave him be, he didn't want him to take him hanging around while he napped the wrong way. But then again, Takumi had _asked_ him to stay and who was he to deny his friend of his wishes? Even if it was the selfish part of him speaking.

Having made his mind up, he settled back and opened up the awful romance novel he'd brought in with him. Hey, no judging okay? He didn't have anything else to do right now. It was as ridiculous as he'd expected, the plot glaringly obvious from the very first sentence. The soldiers were going to end up together in the end regardless of how unrealistic the situation would be in real life, that's how all these trashy romance novels went. Or so Camilla said, not that he'd know. The characters left a lot to be desired and the writing wasn't the best, but he could see why people enjoyed them. Everyone needed a happy ending sometimes.

_It was strange, she thought. She'd been in many fights before, won countless battles but never before had she been stunned by the mere sight of a soldier. The way his muscles glistened under the sun made her cheeks as red as the armour they wore and she was thankful that he wasn't looking in her direction. It was fortunate that they were only training because she undoubtedly would have frozen in awe had they been on a real battlefield. When he did eventually turn to face her, she felt her heart speed up to the pace of a galloping steed and she knew - before they'd even spoken a word to each other - that she had fallen head over heels for this man._

He snapped the book shut, eyes wide at the paragraph he'd just read. He wasn't an expert on matters of the heart, but he knew for certain that his own increased heart rate around the currently asleep Hoshidan prince absolutely, one-hundred-percent did not have anything to do with romantic feelings. This warmth in his chest and eagerness to spend time with him was purely platonic and were _normal_ friendship feelings. Nothing more, nothing less, that was it. No room for debate.

Right?

But as he looked over to the dozing prince, he wasn't quite convinced.

He didn't want to think about it right now though. He hadn't signed up for an overly introspective day when he'd woken up this morning and so he shoved the increasing concerns to the back of his mind. Or rather, attempted to in order to get back to his peaceful smutty reading. But every time he read a... _tasteful_ sentence, his mind kept wandering to Takumi and how maybe his thoughts about him being handsome yesterday and been subjective rather than objective.

He managed to get through roughly one third of the book despite the distractions he was facing until he was interrupted by a groan. It roused Leo out of his confused stupor and what he saw raised some alarm bells. Takumi's face was screwed up but his eyes were still shut, indicating that he wasn't yet back in the land of the living. The second groan was more strained and his hands which had previously been relaxed were now gripping the top sheet so hard that it looked like the thread might tear. Then there were words, _please, help_ and _mother_ was what he could make out followed by gasps and shallow breathing. Leo was frozen, Takumi had admitted to him previously that he suffered from bad dreams but he hadn't expected anything like this.

Suddenly he sat up, eyes still shut but his body on high alert and it was at that point that Leo realised he needed to do _something._ He'd never studied night terrors nor had he ever dealt with one and so in a blind panic, he reached for his shoulder in an attempt to wake him up. Before he even got a chance to shake him, Takumi reached forward and latched his arms around Leo's torso in a desperate sort of bear hug. It was as if he needed confirmation that someone was there, that whatever was happening in his dream wasn't real. Leo stiffened but didn't move, if this is what Takumi needed then this is what he'd provide.

The hug lasted less than a minute (Leo had started to count) and slowly the grip loosened and Takumi opened his eyes one at a time. Upon realising the position they were in, he yanked his arms away. He looked too terrified to even be embarrassed, as if the ordeal was replaying itself over in his head. Leo wasn't sure what to do, asking _are you okay_ didn't seem like enough. He knew a lot of words but right now he had no idea the right ones to say, his oft-complimented mind failing him.

"How mortifying that you saw that," Takumi was the one to break the silence, his voice and hands shaky. "They usually only come at night time."

"Please, my inability to help you out is ten times more embarrassing," He shrugged. "And besides, everyone has nightmares."

Even though been severely injured and exhausted, this took the cake as the most vulnerable he'd seen Takumi. Despite no immediate danger (or any danger at all for that matter), he felt this intense urge to protect him from these unseen forces that had been plaguing him only moments ago. It was dumb, he knew that he couldn't stop the nightmares but by the Gods, he wanted to try. He looked so pale, so small and he couldn't fathom what it was like to experience that on the regular.

"If I was stronger, they wouldn't happen so often."

Leo sighed, it was always two steps forward, one step back. But now was not the time to get frustrated, Xander would tell him, it was time to help. Or at least listen. "Even the strongest have nightmares, you can't control what your mind conjures up while you're asleep."

"But I wouldn't get myself into the situations I dream about if I was stronger," He frowned. "They come less frequently if someone is in the room with me when I fall asleep. I guess it's because I know they're protecting me, which is stupid because I shouldn't need protecting at my age."

"That's ridiculous, you shouldn't discount the help of others. It's common knowledge that we are stronger together," He saw the ghost of a smile cross his friend's face, the first one since he'd arrived back in the room. But in classic Leo fashion, he immediately overthought his words and added, "That is to say, the army is stronger if we all fight as one," The smile faded and he backtracked, once again panicking, "But also I think that we'd make a great team when we do get the chance to fight alongside each other."

His frantic jumble of words brought the smile back and he said with a low chuckle, "You're bad at complimenting people," He shimmied over as he spoke, shifting himself so that their shoulders were almost touching. "I used to think you were smug and insufferable but now I realise that you trip over your words just as much as your brother's retainer does."

"Hey now, that's only around you." He furrowed his eyebrows, taking mock offense to the backhanded compliment. He expected another laugh but was met with perplexing silence as Takumi took in his words.

It took Leo a moment to register what he'd said too, having rushed the words out to defend himself. It was only when Takumi looked at him, mouth slightly parted in confusion that...oh Gods. Ohgodsohgodsohgods, he'd gone and accidentally admitted to something he hadn't wanted to, hadn't he? He'd been doing so well about thinking before he spoke too! His shoulders tensed as he waited for Takumi to move away and get all awkward about it. He probably wouldn't want him to visit as often anymore (if at all!) and he'd have to come up with some random reasoning for his tongue-tiedness.

He held his breath, panic setting in and then...nothing happened. Well, _something_ happened but not what he'd expected. Instead of pulling away, he felt a thud as Takumi dropped his head onto his shoulder. His hair brushed against Leo's bare arm and he had to fight the urge to laugh at the sensation. Fortunately, his jackhammer heart proved enough of a distraction from the tickling. That and Takumi's soft breath and blossom-y scent.

"I think we'd make a great team too," He answered, words so gentle that he might as well have been giving him a hug. "Both in and out of combat."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year, I hope 2021 is better than 2020 was for you! And once again, thank you for reading :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for how bloody wordy and slow this story is haha. It's getting there though!

For a moment, all was right in Leo's world as he let himself relax into the surprisingly intimate position they were in. It was only when he realised _just_ how close they were that he suddenly froze, shoulders stiffening as he started to panic. This was a completely new experience to him and he had absolutely _no clue_ what to do, the ~~various~~ small number of romance books he'd read over the years had not taught him any tips _at all._

What he _wanted_ to do was to rest his own head on Takumi's, move slightly closer and talk about something fun, like their plans they'd made to visit each other (for diplomacy reasons of course) when everything was peaceful again. It was at that point that it began dawning on him -- well, he'd had an inkling for a while -- that he knew for certain the feelings weren't platonic anymore. _That_ much he'd learnt from the books.

If this was a chapter in _A First Time for Everything,_ he would have admitted right then and there that he had developed confusing feelings for the rival prince and then they would have talked things through, avoiding all misunderstandings and laughing at their inexperience. Even if Takumi didn't reciprocate them (didn't bear thinking about right now), he would understand and everything would work out. But unfortunately, life was not as simple as that and he was not a one-dimensional character in a story book. No, he was a romantically-challenged adult with an overactive fight or flight response.

Which just so happened to kick in at that exact moment and he stood up frantically, startling Takumi. His brain was telling him to step up and admit that he liked being so close, but the adrenaline pumping through his limbs was telling him that _"you have no idea what you're doing, so you better get out of here asap"_ and it was the overpowering force. A small brain moment, as Odin would lovingly call it.

"I - I said I would go help Elise with some study today and I lost track of the time." He stuttered, already making his way over to the door. Takumi was watching him, his face a mixture of confusion and disappointment which damn near broke his heart as he retreated.

"Oh okay," There was a hint of hurt in his tone. "Don't worry about walking with me this evening then, I'm going to ask Ryoma instead. I'll see you tomorrow or something, I guess."

"S-sure, okay." He gave him a small wave as if they were only acquaintances and quickly shut the door behind him, hands shaking so badly that he feared he wouldn't be able to grab the handle properly. In a daze he walked outside, unsure of where to go or what to do now. The Elise thing had been a total lie made up on the spot in his flustered state and now he had nothing to do but wallow in his feelings.

It wasn't until he collapsed down onto a small wooden bench near the mess hall did everything finally catch up to him. And oh boy, did it hit him hard. Suddenly he was aware of every little thing going on around him, the noise of swords clinking in the distance echoed loudly in his ears and bounced around until he felt a twinge of a headache. The intense heat of the sun that was directly above only made him feel more miserable and he had to hang his head between his knees to regain some sort of balance.

Not to be dramatic or anything, but he'd messed it all up, hadn't he? Takumi had looked so disappointed, as if his touch had somehow offended Leo (when really it was the opposite). He struggled to see a way that he could explain away his reaction without making him seem stranger and that wouldn't strain their relationship further. But then again, perhaps Hoshidan's were more tactile people and he could chalk it up to cultural differences. But it wasn't just the touch, it was how he'd said so earnestly that they'd make a good team. Had he meant it to sound so flirtatious?

The most obvious answer to his predicament was to just come clean and confess his feelings, but that too would run the risk of ruining their friendship. He just couldn't see any pathway where it didn't end up awkward between them. Gods, he had no idea what to do. Why was he so emotionally-challenged like this? His sisters didn't seem to have any issues, so why him?

But anyway, he needed to speak to someone. Camilla, Elise and Corrin were out of the question, they'd just coo and cluck about love and Xander was as stiff as a board when it came to anything with even a hint of romance. Odin would wax poetic about long lost loves from his homeland without offering any real advice, so it seemed like Niles was the only option. He was probably the best one anyway, being familiar with his identity struggles in the past and all that. At least he wouldn't have to give context or anything, another big hurdle he'd have to face in the very near future.

His legs felt like they weighed the same as ten steel swords as he trudged his way towards the Nohrian quarters and he was a gross, sweaty mess by the time he ended up inside. He usually wore some sort of cape while out in the sun for this exact reason and he knew that later this evening he'd be lamenting sunburn as well as matters of the heart. He could hear Odin chattering away as he approached the room with Niles occasionally adding an exasperated acknowledgement to whatever the louder of the two was saying.

Leo poked his head around the corner of the doorway, catching the attention of said loud retainer who looked up with a smile.

"Hello, milord! I hope you're doing well on this bizarrely sunny morning."

"I'm fine, thank you Odin," He lied. "I'm after Niles though, if he's free right now of course." His other retainer looked up from his spot on the bed where he was reading the book from earlier. He was stone-faced, mystifying to Leo how he could read something (presumably) so smutty without even a hint of a blush when he himself couldn't get through a single paragraph without falling for his companion.

"Of course, Lord Leo," He replied, standing to attention. "Where would you like me?"

He made a mental note to reprimand him later for using language that skirted too closely to the innuendo line. He'd do it right now but he feared his shaky voice might ruin his credibility. "May I speak to you in my quarters?" Niles followed him wordlessly into the next room over, motioning to the door and closing it when Leo nodded.

The need to keep up appearances dissipated as soon as that door was shut and he suddenly felt restless and a little uncomfortable in his own skin, causing him to pace around the room. His mind was still racing after leaving Takumi's room and he hadn't had a single understandable thought. He didn't hold out much hope for the coherency of the conversation he was about to have, if his thoughts were any indication. Niles was watching him warily, still poised by the door and unsure of how to approach his normally level-headed liege.

Leo opened and closed his mouth several times but couldn't work out the best way to start the conversation (thanks brain). It was on the fifth time that Niles finally spoke up, slightly exasperated, "Something is clearly plaguing you, milord."

Another minute passed and then a sigh, "Remember how we spoke about the suitors and the suitresses?"

"Yes, I recall it well."

He paused, feeling a sudden thickness in his throat. Niles was one of his most trusted confidants, so why was he finding this so difficult to say out loud? His eyes flicked briefly to his retainer who was watching him, his face uncharacteristically soft and not at all annoyed by his current inability to form sentences. He probably knew what was coming next, but he was grateful for the patience nonetheless.

"Ugh..." The thickness was joined by a hot stinging behind his eyes which quickly turned into a dampness on his cheeks. He attempted to wipe it away with his palm but ended up smearing the tears and snot further across his face. He didn't feel sad but he couldn't stop it, it had been an emotional day. "I don't know about the suitresses, but I've finally worked out that I like suitors...uh, that is to say men," His voice was wobbly and he quickly turned to the window to hide his face. How old was he again? Too old to be doing this, that's for sure. "Gods, why am I crying? This is so embarrassing."

"I hate to tell you what to do milord, but I think you should sit down." He gestured to the immaculately made bed (by Odin, Leo distinctly remembered leaving it a mess when he'd gotten up this morning) and when Leo was seated, he lowered himself down next to him.

"It's probably just the stress of the war and the tiredness, I didn't sleep well you know."

"It's certainly overwhelming," He nodded. "But it's also normal to feel overwhelmed while you're figuring this out and you ought to not be so hard on yourself. I assure you though that whenever you decide to tell your siblings, they will rejoice for you. They are good people."

"I have no doubts about that and I'm not worried," He took a shuddering breath but wasn't tearing up anymore, thank the Gods. It was true though, he wasn't worried about his family. Camilla often said that she would be happy as long as he was happy, and Xander, he acted tough but he was a big softie on the inside. As for Elise, well she just loved love. It was just a big thing to realise, is all. "How did you feel?"

He hummed, kicking his legs out from the bed. "It was daunting, that's for sure, but it was a relief. I also didn't have anyone around me to talk to so I just had to figure things out. I suppose you do have your own unique set of circumstances though, being a royal and all that but you do have me to speak to."

His eyes had stopped watering now, as if finally saying it out loud had taken a weight off his chest. He still had the whole Takumi concern to deal with though and he hoped Niles would be able to offer some insight, even if he wasn't particularly adept at romance or courting. "I don't think you realise how much I'm going to take you up on that offer," He chuckled flatly. "Do you want to know how I finally realised?"

"Prince Takumi?"

A gasp and a blush. "How did you guess?"

"Please," He laughed. "I've been serving you for years and I can say with utmost certainty that not many people can make you smile the way you did each time you visited him."

Oh _great,_ he thought he'd been so slick too. He rolled his eyes, that was _way_ more embarrassing than the crying! He was supposed to conduct himself as calm and collected, not frivolous. Guess he'd have to work twice as hard to retain his stern and somewhat stoic facade to the army now. But anyway, he digressed, back to the issue at hand.

"We had become so close but I think I completely ruined things this morning," A raised eyebrow from Niles prompted him to continue. "We were sitting on his bed together and he placed his head on my shoulder."

"Wow I can't imagine him getting within ten feet of a Nohrian, let alone toucing one." He let out a low whistle but a harsh look from the corner of Leo's eye stopped him from continuing _for now_.

" _Anyway_ he made a comment that could be be construed as um...romantic and I just froze," He was massaging his forehead, cringing as he re-lived the awkward situation. "And when I un-froze, I told him I had to go help Elise out and just like, ran away. I fucked it up, Niles, and I'd just sorted out my feelings too!"

Nothing ever seemed to shock Niles, but his Lord using language not particularly befitting of a royal made his mouth drop open in surprise. Once he'd pulled himself together, he answered with, "And how did he react?"

"Um, well he seemed confused and then told me he was going to walk with Ryoma this afternoon instead. I suppose he thought I was offended or not interested or something, which isn't true but _he_ doesn't know what."

Niles was quiet for a moment, thinking over what Leo had just admitted. It was so mortifying to say out loud and he just wanted to become one with the floor, never showing his face again. A slow smirk formed over Niles features which made Leo want to groan, why was this funny? He made a note to make sure this conversation didn't leave the room, he didn't need his ego damaged any further. "I don't think it's as big a deal as you seem to think it is, milord."

"You don't know Niles, you weren't there."

"No," He tutted. "But I do know that things seem like a much bigger deal when you're in love."

The word love made him gasp and blush, and in retaliation (to what? His own body's reaction?) he huffed and crossed his arms. "I am _not_ in love, it's just a silly crush is all."

"Oh, so why are you being so dramatic about it then?" The glare he received prompted a laugh and he continued, "Okay okay, we won't say love. But from what you've told me, I don't believe that all is lost."

Leo's shoulders relaxed and he exhaled gently. "No? It feels that way."

"Well to start with, relations between Nohr and Hoshido have improved greatly so I don't see why you wouldn't be able to court him," He said. "But to move past this little mishap, you're going to have to tell him how you feel. Making up some excuse about your reaction to him _merely touching_ you will only hurt him and hinder your relationship from moving forward. Lastly, you'll have to find out if he is also interested in the suitors, to put it in your words, milord," And then with a final laugh, "Welcome to the world of dating."

He could feel a headache coming on already, tension collecting at the base of his skull. Why couldn't things be straightforward? Feelings were hard and he wanted to shove them away and hide away in the library, just like when he was younger. Maybe he could live a simple life, become the castle's resident farmer where his biggest concern would be whether the crops would grow in time for the summer. He tried to envision it and while he struggled to see himself working amongst the harvest, he also struggled to see that life without a veil of loneliness. Niles was right, he'd have to do something lest he risk feeling melancholy like this for the rest of his days.

"I also think you should speak to your siblings about it, they'll probably be more help than I've been," He said. "And if it gives you any comfort, I believe that that's probably why Lord Takumi is walking with Lord Ryoma this evening."

The comment did make his chest feel lighter although he wasn't fully convinced yet. It was easy to get wrapped up in his own problems and forget that his object of affection was potentially dealing with the exact same feelings, as well as, you know, injuries and exhaustion on top of that. "Thank you, Niles."

"Always happy to help, milord," He smiled, an earnest smile that was reserved solely for Leo and no one else. "And I hope this isn't amiss of me to assume, but I think you need one of these." He held his arms open in a gesture that Leo had not seen from anyone besides Camilla since he was a child. He brought him into the hug and for some reason the action made him oddly emotional and threatened to start the tears flowing all over again.

He dismissed him after that, letting him go back to his "reading" but not without making him swear not to utter a word of this to anyone. He wanted to tell his family in his own time and the thought of the army knowing he'd been crying was just too much to bear. He felt better after the conversation though, he often forgot how much having an unbiased opinion on things could help.

The idea of having to own up to his feelings was daunting though and he wondered how long he'd be able to put it off. Probably not long at all considering he was stuck at the campgrounds with Takumi. He wished he'd come to this realisation during peacetime so that they'd be communicating via correspondence. He was much better at organising his thoughts into written form than he was at verbalising them, especially when emotions were involved.

It was at that point he realised he'd been staring down at his fidgeting fingers for too long and he lifted his head up to try and stretch his neck muscles out. As he did, he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror across the room. His appearance shocked him, he hadn't thought he'd cried that much but his puffy red eyes told a different story. If anyone were to walk in right now, they'd know immediately that he'd been bawling and his pride had already taken quite the beating today so he needed to avoid _that_ at all costs.

With a melodramatic sigh, he stood up and peeked his head through his quarter's doors to check that the coast was clear. His only option right now was to sprint down to the sinks and splash his face to remove the evidence that he in fact had emotions.

It appeared empty and with a deep breath, he scurried out down the hallway. He attempted to keep his footsteps light so as not to arouse suspicion from his siblings' retainers who maybe were in their rooms and successfully made it halfway. Just one more corner to go and he'd be safe, although there was the issue of if the bathroom itself would be empty. _But I have to try, right?_ is what he thought when he ran straight into Xander and almost gave himself a concussion by knocking his head on his armour breastplate. Clearly he'd just come from the sparring grounds.

"Leo!" He gasped, just as surprised as his little brother was. "Are you--" He began before noticing the state Leo's face was in, his own eyes widening in concern. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, fine," He croaked out, his voice still hoarse. "If you'll excuse me." He tried to sneak past but was stopped by his brother's firm grip on his shoulder.

"I may not be as good as Camilla at picking up on things, but I do know what someone looks like when they're emotional," His words were stern but kind and made Leo feel about two feet tall. "So tell me, what's the matter?"

He hesitated while he weighed up his options. He was already emotionally exhausted from his previous conversation but Niles was right, he could use some advice from an older sibling (he hadn't expected it so soon though). Xander wouldn't push him if he said he didn't want to talk about it, but he would look at him with concern each time they saw each other _and_ potentially tell Camilla. Ultimately the need for big brotherly advice won and he said in a hushed tone, "Not here."

"I shall follow your lead then." He led them back to his quarters once more, shutting the door tightly behind him so nosy retainers couldn't poke their heads through under the guise of protecting Lord Xander.

And thus began the whole cycle of pacing again while Xander watched from near the door, his face tired yet ever patient. This had been a mistake, he felt awkward and dumb and just _so young_ compared to his giant brother standing there. His hands tensed by his sides and he wondered if it was too late to just head down to the sparring grounds to let off some steam instead. If he tired himself out then he wouldn't have the energy to think, right?

"Leo, stop pacing," It was almost a reprimand but concern for his brother's wellbeing was clearly evident in his tone. "I can't help you if you don't tell me."

"I didn't ask for your help." He shot back, harsher than intended. There was a brief look of hurt that flashed over Xander's face but he quickly composed himself, a skill he'd become adept at over the years.

"No, you're right, you didn't," He replied. "I apologise."

"It's okay," He relaxed his hands with a sigh, steps slowing until he came to a stop in front of his bed. He dropped to sitting, feeling a great sense of deja vu from less than an hour ago. "I also didn't mean to snap, I know it's because you care."

Xander gestured to the spot beside Leo and when he received a confirmation nod, he took a seat. It was funny, sitting here like this he felt like a child again. Xander had always been tall but the height difference was extremely obvious when they were seated next to each other like this. His shoulders were so broad even without his armour, his face intimidating to those who didn't know him but soft to those who did. Leo hoped that nothing unfortunate ever happened to him because he himself would not be half the king that Xander was going to be. Nohr didn't realise how lucky they were.

"I must say, I am surprised to see you like this. You were always the one that had the best handle on their emotions out of the four of us," He almost snorted with laughter at Xander's comment. "So I imagine it's something quite serious, and if it's to do with our troops I need to know."

"It's nothing to do with the army, don't worry about that. It's a personal issue."

"If one of your retainers isn't doing their --"

"No, no it's not that either," He quickly interrupted, waving his hands in front of his face. "It's entirely to do with me. I...uh..." The words trailed off in embarrassment, he didn't think he'd ever get used to this. Talking about oneself? Gods, the worst. "I can't..."

"Leo," He placed a warm hand on his shoulder. "Whatever it is, there will be no judgment from me."

Okay, that was comforting but it was still so awkward. He tried to focus on his breathing as he formulated the words in his mind. In, out, in, out. Deep breaths and then, "IhavefeelingsforPrinceTakumi."

The silence that ensued was more than likely because his brother was trying to figure out what he'd said in the jumble of words he'd spewed out, but it made Leo want to -- _once again --_ become one with the floor. Ugh, he should just never admit to anything romantic, it was much too cringe-inducing. Xander's eyebrows were knitted together and Leo just wanted to shout at him to say something. But he didn't, he remained sitting there fiddling anxiously with a button on his shirt.

Once he'd managed to work out what exactly Leo had just admitted to, he opened his mouth to speak but Leo cut him off before he could get a word out, "Are you surprised?"

"Not in the slightest," There was that smile, the one he'd mentioned way back that made him feel warm and at home. The one that always got him talking no matter how much he didn't want to. Yeah, that one. But what did he mean he wasn't surprised? "Although _I am_ surprised to hear that you wish to court Prince Takumi. If someone had told me this a month ago I would have told them that it wasn't right to lie to the royal family."

"Ha, well," He forced a laugh out in an attempt to seem relaxed, but was clutching the button so tight that the thread snapped and it fell loose into his lap. Xander glanced down at it and then back up at him. "He's not so bad once you get to know him." He braced himself for an _I told you so,_ but it didn't come. That _was_ more Elise's territory though, Xander was a little better at reading the room than she was.

"So this is what caused you to cry? I can't say I understand why."

Oh yeah, he'd forgotten about that. Another quick glance in the mirror told him the evidence was still definitely visible though and there was no way he was getting out of an explanation. He shrugged and quickly filled Xander in with the entire situation that had happened this morning and how he feared that he'd completely ruined any sort of chance that he may or may not have even had. Xander listened intently, his face thoughtful as he tried to sort through the dramatics that his little brother was describing.

When Leo was finished, he said, "I must say I agree with Niles that you owe Prince Takumi a truthful explanation for your behaviour," He was afraid he'd say that. "But I do also have it on good authority from Prince Ryoma that his younger brother has been enjoying your company as much as you seem to have been enjoying his," That gave a little bit of reprieve but it didn't really do much to quell his anxiety about the current predicament. "So now the question is what are you going to do next?"

"I don't know," He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I don't know the first thing about courtship."

Xander nodded, lips pursed. Leo was well aware his brother didn't have the most experience either but he _seemed_ to know everything, so he would surely be able to provide some sort of help. He'd be happy with anything though, he was way out of his depth.

"Nohr's spring festival is coming up very soon, and when I was speaking with the council this morning they seemed to think it was a good idea to hold a scaled down version in the outrealm to raise morale," He suggested. "Why don't you invite him along? I'm sure by that point he'll be well enough to be out of his quarters."

He was right, Takumi's health was improving every day and he had no doubts he'd be up and moving properly soon enough. He'd still have to talk to him about today though, oh Gods it wasn't going to be easy, was it? High risk, high reward and all that though. "Yeah, I suppose I will. Seems odd to hold a celebration during wartime though."

A shrug from his brother. "We must remember that life does not stop just because we are fighting."

"Thanks for understanding." He mumbled. It wasn't easy for him to admit he needed advice, but he had really needed it today. Taking it as his cue to leave, Xander stood up from the bed, armour clanking together comically as he did so. It was at odds with his sullen expression and if Leo had been feeling more humourous, he may have laughed.

"I know I am usually preoccupied but I will always make time if you need me, Leo. The same goes for any of our siblings."

He reached for the doorhandle and just as he was about to take his leave, Leo stopped him with, "Do you think our father will be mad?" _Mad that he's a prince, or just mad because he's a Hoshidan prince?_ He didn't say it, but Xander knew what he meant.

The question caught him off guard and for a moment, he was stunned. Once he regained his composure, his usual dour expression had softened. "If he is, he will have to get through me before he gets to you," The words were quiet, but their intention was loud and for the third time that day, he had to stop himself from breaking down into ugly tears. He was an adult, no crying allowed. But it was no secret that their father was his brother's greatest fear and the fact that he was willing to face up to it for his sake filled him with an indescribable warmth. "This world is already filled with so much hardship, the least you can have is someone you love helping you through it, whoever they may be."

Love. There was that word again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any spelling mistakes, I tried my best to catch any haha! Also only one or two more chapters to go, almost done :O

"Is that all you're having, Leo?" Elise asked as he sat down at the table holding tightly onto his mug of tea. "Charlotte and Benny are cooking tonight and they're pretty good." She didn't say _"at least compared to most of the army"_ because she was too kind for that, but Leo knew she wanted to.

"I'm just not hungry," He shrugged and took a sip out of the cup. The boiling water to milk ratio was wrong and he burnt the tip of his tongue, so he stuck it out as he waited for it to cool down. He could feel a pair of eyes on him as he stared into the drink, watching carefully. "What?" is what he tried to say, but it came out just like a muffled noise which made Elise laugh.

"Please make sure you're eating properly, brother," Camilla replied. She'd seemed a little surprised when he rocked up at the mess hall this evening after he'd said he wasn't going to be there but hadn't questioned it. "And put your tongue away, you're a prince."

His mood had tanked thanks to all the stress and general anxiety he'd been feeling earlier and for some reason her concern added to it, he was sick of her babying him like this. "This is the first time I haven't eaten dinner in weeks, you don't need to worry so much." The words were harsher than they'd usually be and his grip tightened on the mug, he wanted to argue with her. They used to fight a lot as teenagers you know, being the closest in age and all. In hindsight, it was always about dumb things like who got first use of the showers in the morning with Xander constantly having to mediate. They were pretty good now, only ever getting under each other's skin when Leo was grumpy like right now.

She gave him a look of _don't start_ and he sat back, arms crossed defiantly. They stared at each other for a moment before Camilla shifted her attention to Elise and started chatting about some campground gossip. Leo wasn't sure what it was nor did he particularly care, he had too much going on in his brain right now.

He'd been feeling a little better after speaking to Niles and Xander this afternoon, they'd helped him get out of his own head and think about things more rationally than he had been. After they'd left though, the unease had come creeping back in and left him feeling moody and discontented. He'd accepted the fact that he'd have to own up to his earlier behaviour with Takumi but the thought of that terrified him. He'd heard of many a situation where confessing romantic feelings made things weird and he really didn't want to lose their friendship. It felt a bit catch-22, if he was being honest.

After a moment, he slumped forward with his chin in his palm and let his gaze wander out the window. There was nothing out there, just grass and crumbling stone walls like the one he'd sat on with Takumi yesterday. He should be better than this. He was an adult, he shouldn't be letting personal feelings interfere so heavily when he had much more important things to focus on, namely fighting a war against these unseen forces that Corrin kept talking about. That was much, _much_ easier said than done though.

Just as he went to take a sip of his (hopefully) now cooler drink, two figures walked into his line of sight out the window. Ryoma and Takumi, of course. Whatever god he'd pissed off to deserve this, he extended his sincerest apologies to. They were deep in conversation and didn't notice him, but _he_ did notice that Takumi -- while still limping -- was walking unaided by Ryoma. _That_ at least made him smile, the healers must have really done their job today for him to make this much progress.

From where they were situated, Camilla could also see out the window and when she noticed the other princes, she mumbled a small _oh._ Elise _didn't_ notice and hopped up cheerfully to go get herself another serving of dinner. Maybe he should try and eat something, apparently it was good enough to warrant having seconds.

She waited until Elise was out of earshot before leaning closer and saying, "I'm sorry, I didn't realise."

"It's okay," He shrugged. "It's my fault." She reached out to touch his arm in comfort but didn't say anything further, didn't have to. At least he didn't feel like crying this time.

When Elise returned, she offered him a bite of her overloaded plate. It tasted okay, but his stomach was already feeling kind of queasy so he decided against eating anything more and he sat quietly while his sisters chattered on again. Being around so many people was too much to handle though and as soon as he finished his tea, discarded the mug with the rest of the dishes and stood up to leave.

He'd probably go straight to bed. It was still early and the sun was only just setting but it had been a long and exhausting day. He'd probably feel a little better after a good night's sleep, that was something Camilla had always said whenever Xander went through sad spells when they were youger. Hadn't always worked of course, but the words always echoed in the back of his mind when he was feeling tired and moody.

He must have been especially out of it though because for the second time that day, he walked straight into someone else. This time it was Ryoma who had tried to walk through the doorway at the exact same time Leo had. He seemed to have finished walking with Takumi but the other prince was not with him, much to Leo's dismay. Or relief, he wasn't sure.

"Prince Leo!" He said, taken aback but the collision. "I apologise, my head is far up in the clouds this evening."

He shimmied out of the sight of the entire mess hall who had just seen the bump, _slightly_ embarrassed. "That makes two of us."

He chuckled, stepping to the same side that Leo had moved to indicating that their interaction was not done yet. "I was actually coming in here to find you, do you mind if I speak to you for a moment?"

"Oh, sure." He croaked.

Ryoma nodded, shifting awkwardly from side to side as if he didn't want to have whatever this conversation was going to be. _Great,_ Leo thought. If Ryoma felt awkward, what hope did he have? His eyes flittered around before settling on the younger prince and immediately Leo froze, held hostage by this intense gaze that had hardened up as soon as he'd zeroed in on him. Ryoma was certainly going to be a stern king, much like Xander, but they were different somehow. Equally as serious, but in different ways.

"I feel strange asking this considering it conflicts what I asked of you a few weeks ago," He began. "But I think it's in your best interest not to visit Takumi for a few days," The gutpunched look on Leo's face must have been extrememly obvious because he quickly tacked on, "He's really trying to focus on healing his injuries up and doesn't want any distractions."

To his credit, Ryoma was a good liar but he needed to step away from the counter because Leo wasn't buying it. He didn't need to hear any more though to understand, or perhaps he didn't _want_ to hear any more and so he just said, "No worries, let him know that I hope he feels better." He didn't stick around any longer than that, worried that his bottom lip would start to tremble if he tried to say anything else. It was straight to his chambers and straight to bed after that, not even a goodnight to Odin who had skipped dinner this evening to sit in his room and brainstorm new weapon names (not an uncommon occurrence).

It was fortunate that things were quiet on the fighting side of things at the moment because Leo seriously doubted his ability to perform any sort of meaningful support to the army over the next two days. Most of his time was spent in bed in his chambers, attempting to read but feeling too spaced out to take any of the content in. An attempt was made to socialise as normal at mealtimes (if he went to them) and he thought he was doing a convincing job, but if you were to ask anyone in the army they'd tell you that something was up.

Xander and Camilla had come knocking at his door in concern the first evening and had been met with a _"go away"_ very reminiscent of a teenage Leo and hadn't come back again since. By the end of the second evening, his confusing heartbreak-type feelings had morphed into frustration and then into anger. It was all Takumi's fault for making him feel this way! He'd been ambling through life completely fine before all this and Takumi just _had_ to come in and mess that all up. Stupid feelings, he'd been better off keeping them at bay like he'd been doing for years. It wasn't as if they were even dating, yet it felt like the end of the world right now.

Perhaps Niles had seen him stomping from the showers to his quarters with his fists balled, because just before retiring for the night he stuck his head in through the door and said, "With all due respect, milord, it's not Prince Takumi's fault." And then he was out of there as quickly as he'd appeared, probably to avoid Leo's thunderous glare.

Look, he was right. He knew he was. It was misdirected anger when really he should have been annoyed at himself for letting the situation get to him so much. He hadn't even realised he'd been so emotionally invested until now! He lamented over this well into the night and it was late by the time he eventually fell asleep and early when he woke.

* * *

After his short run-in with Niles the evening before, Leo had woken up feeling that instead of wallowing in his feelings, he wanted to do something about them. Or rather, do something as a distraction from them. Big distinction. Despite every muscle in his body telling him to sleep more, he'd gotten up and used the quiet time before the campground awoke to properly take a bath and drink some tea. He still didn't feel great but it at least made him feel a little better. Less gross.

Over the past few days, reading had proved to be a terrible distraction and as he sipped his tea, he decided he'd ask Xander to train with him. Perhaps not spar, but run some drills or something. As much as he didn't like to admit it, physical exercise was a good way to divert one's attention and with how much Xander liked to train, he wagered he'd be so tired by the end of it that he wouldn't have the energy to think.

So he waited in the mess hall until his brother appeared and when he finally did, asked, "Hey Xander, do you mind if we run some drills together this morning?"

"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow at the question. "Of course we can, but what prompted this? You're not usually the one who suggests training."

Leo raised a finger to protest the slander but quickly thought better of it and decided to pout instead. "Just wanted to spend some time with you, is all." He grumbled to which Xander just smiled, amused.

"Alright, but my condition is that you have to eat breakfast with me. You can't train effectively on an empty stomach."

They planned to do some mounted training after Leo firmly rejected sparring practice with his brother (sometimes he wondered if Xander realised the height and weight difference between the two of them). They fetched their horses from the stables and at the start, everything was fine. Well, he still felt quite distant from the world and was struggling to focus but he'd mounted his horse without any troubles. They were standard drills they were running, things he'd been doing since he was old enough to ride by himself but were always worth refreshing.

The problem came when he actually _started_ moving. It seemed that when Leo had a lot on his mind, he forgot how his body worked. When his horse started to canter, he suddenly realised that he wasn't holding the reins. In fact, he wasn't anywhere _near_ the reins, his arms hanging loosely by his sides as he stared into the distance. If his horse had been trotting this probably wouldn't have been an issue but thanks to the increased speed, he soon found himself lying in the dirt, battered, dazed and unsure of what had just happened.

"Leo!" He could hear the footfall of Xander's horse nearing and a moment later, his brother's face appeared over the top of him. It was at that point he realised he was still on the ground and he pushed himself into sitting, wincing as he did so. Hoo boy, his shoulder was _definitely_ going to bruise up later on.

"I think I fell off." He said, blinking a few times to get his bearings.

"That's an understatement," His face was a mixture of concern and anger and Leo had to look away sheepishly. Xander was aware of what he was capable of while riding and he _knew_ that this would only happen if he really wasn't with it. His brother could read him like the books he'd been struggling with the past few days. "Come, let's take you to the infirmary." He held out a hand which Leo grabbed, pulling him to standing and really hurting his shoulder in the meantime.

* * *

There were a few grazes on his left shoulder and thigh but nothing too concerning, the bruises were going to be the most painful part but they would heal within a week or so even without the help of healers. It almost made him laugh, if he hadn't been so wrapped up in his thoughts then this wouldn't have happened. A (painful) lesson had definitely been learnt from this.

Xander's insistence that he come to the infirmary had been a little too alarmist, but since he was here he might as well dress the grazes. He grabbed the small first aid pack down from the shelf, noting the missing singed heat pack with a smile. It seemed Takumi had never returned it after his little disaster. Probably for the best, it hid his shame. Gods, that was so long ago now and they'd been so uncomfortable with each other, it was strange to think about. He couldn't pinpoint the exact time where they'd finally relaxed into each other's company, but that fiasco had certainly helped break down a barrier or two.

He shook his head to clear the thoughts away, they'd make him sad again if he dwelled too much on them, and got to work on cleaning up his wounds. The antiseptic he dabbed on his arm made him wince and he wondered if it was too late to go and hunt down Elise so she could heal him up in an instant. Common sense won out in the end, it would be a waste of her healing staff that could be used on proper injuries, not just her sooky brother that didn't want to deal with some aches for a few days.

The fall had torn through the top of his pants leg, hence the grazing there but to clean it up properly he had to roll his pants right up to the top of his thigh. It looked weird and he was grateful that he was alone in here, having kicked out his helicopter brother as soon as they'd arrived. He started to coat the skin in antiseptic, flinching at the stinging but keeping a laserfocus on the task at hand. So focused in fact, that he didn't notice the sound of the door being pushed open.

There was a small gasp which was quickly followed by, "So they were right, you are in here." The familiar voice made his eyes widen and his head snapped up only to come face to face with the one person that had been causing all this angst.

"Oh, um hello Prince Takumi," His appearance was a surprise, that's for sure, and he quickly rolled his pant leg down before he could see. "What are you doing here?"

The question - while innocent enough - made the other prince's face flush red and he tugged on the end of his long hair. "Nothing." He muttered grumpily which caused a smirk from the other party.

"Ah, you didn't come to check up on me?" The comment made the blush deepen which gave Leo his answer and suddenly he felt the lightest he had for the past three days. "I'm surprised, I thought you wanted to be alone."

"Uh yeah, we should probably talk about that."

"Yeah."

Well, there was no time like the present. He took a seat on Takumi's old bed (it was a coincidence, it just happened to be the closest to where he was standing, he promised) and patted the spot next to him, easier to talk if they weren't facing each other. Takumi lingered in the doorway for a moment, biting his lip as he considered _something._ After deciding on whatever it was, he stepped into the room and took the seat next to Leo.

"What happened to land you in here?"

"Just fell off my horse, the standard stuff." He waved his question away casually. It wasn't the first time if had happened and it probably wasn't going to be the last. He _was_ good at riding really.

But while Leo didn't see it as a big deal, Takumi was staring at him in disbelief. "That's twice in like, a month that you've had a fall. Are you _sure_ you know how to ride?"

"It certainly doesn't seem like it," He had to resist the urge to smile, they were supposed to be having a serious chat. "But enough about me, how are _you_ feeling? I'm surprised to see you out and about."

He shrugged. "The nurse and healers said I could start doing more things around the campground now as long as I didn't overdo things." He was trying to maintain a blank face probably for the same reason Leo was, but he could tell he was just _busting_ to scream and shout about how glad he was to be up and moving once more. Hopefully he wouldn't make the same mistake again.

As for Leo, despite all the uncertainty over the past few days, he felt a genuine happiness for Takumi. It was Takumi's journey but he'd been there with him for most of it, hadn't he? "I'm really glad to hear that," He replied to which he received a grateful nod. "But that being said, are we always destined to meet in the infirmary?" Leo laughed in an attempt to distract himself from his increasing heartbeat. They'd moved past the pleasantries and were moving on to the real conversation now. Takumi laughed too but it was a little louder than normal and Leo took comfort in the fact he wasn't the only nervous one.

"It appears that way," Takumi chuckled again. His face was still calm but his left hand was awkwardly playing with his hair again, a habit Leo had noticed he did when facing some sort of emotional turmoil. "We tried to hang out in my quarters _once_ and everything fell apart."

"I'm sorry about that."

"No, no," He inhaled deeply, holding the breath in until his shoulders began to shake and he was forced to exhale. It was rather dramatic and Leo had to stifle a laugh despite the tense atmosphere. "It's difficult for me to say this - if you couldn't tell - but it's my fault. I clearly misread the situation and made you uncomfortable."

Yep, he'd called it, he _knew_ that's what Takumi had thought. But now it was his turn, he'd promised Xander and if there was one thing he actively tried to avoid, it was disappointing his older brother. Didn't mean it wasn't going to make things awkward though. "You didn't misread anything," He said, voice low and slow as if that would help. "I'm just not adept at emotions or uh...being so close to someone."

Another loud nervous laugh. "Adept? Just say you're not very good, Leo," He usually would have quipped back at the jab but it just made him sigh internally in relief. Things almost felt normal when they teased each other, _almost._ "Is that why you ran away?"

"Yeah, but I'll have you know I've been beating myself up about that for the past few days."

"Ha, I've rubbed off on you."

Leo shook his head. "Don't give yourself too much credit, I was hating on myself long before you came along," Takumi just grinned, the joke having clearly landed. He wasn't funny at the best of times, so thank the Gods for that one. "But how are you _really_ feeling anyway? I assume the last few days have been full of rest and recuperation?"

"Physically, sure, I finally don't feel so tired anymore. But mentally, not so much," He shrugged. "I was embarrassed about my behaviour and had a lot to think about..." He paused, considering whether or not to continue. Leo attempted to give him a Xander-look, you know the one that made him feel cared for, but probably wasn't that successful. Or maybe he was because Takumi did continue, "They were things I've never really had to think about before so it was overwhelming."

Takumi too, huh? That being said, he hadn't actually admitted to what he'd had to think about but his discomfort mirrored Leo's so he assumed (or rather, hoped) that it was the same sort of thing. As much as he hoped for it though, he wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't the case. There were a lot of other issues going on around them, namely the war, so it was probably to do with that. But even if it wasn't, unlike Takumi he wasn't the most attractive person in the army. Scrawny and awkward, not exactly the ideal bachelor. Whereas Takumi with a few more years of training would probably end up looking like Ryoma, broad and strong.

"I think," He said. "I think we've been going through similar things. Poor Xander and Niles copped the brunt of it this week."

"Ryoma as well."

"Thank the Gods for big brothers, right?" He smiled. On that topic though, it was time to broach the idea of the spring festival. This conversation seemed to be going well so he figured that his chances of getting a yes were fairly high but the idea of rejection was terrifying. He'd just be putting it off for later if he didn't do it now though and things would stay stagnant if he didn't at least try.

He opened his mouth but Takumi quickly cut in, "I don't think I handled the past few days in the right way," The words were muttered out reluctantly, but only in the sense that Takumi didn't want to admit he'd made a mistake. He squeezed his eyes shut as he croaked out the rest of the sentence, as if it was the hardest thing in the world. "I thought that not seeing you would help me clear my head but I just ended up miserable. I'll understand if you're upset but...um, could we start hanging out again?" He cracked one eye open at the end to peer at Leo and gauge his response.

But oh? Was this a dream? Of all the ways this conversation could have gone, he hadn't expected it to go the _exact_ way he'd hoped. Less reluctancy would have been nice but hey, can't win them all. It definitely showed too because Leo couldn't stop the grin from slowly taking over his face, growing so big that he was certain his cheeks would hurt tomorrow. "If that is what you'd like, I'll happily oblige. And if you're feeling up to it, the Nohrian spring festival is next week and I'd like it if you came along with me."

Takumi's other eye flew open and his mouth dropped open in surprise, an involuntary reaction that made Leo snigger. Apparently he hadn't factored this into his apology plans, hence the current resemblance to a goldfish. "Are you asking--"

"It seems that way."

"But _I_ wanted to be the one to--"

He just shrugged, the grin becoming a smug smirk as he interrupted him. The one he was so known for. Leo was back. "You snooze, you lose. So, what do you say?"

"Yeah, of course, duh."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I will try to update quickly!


End file.
